


THE ALL OR NOTHING GAME

by VoyaMariner



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Deadly Enchantment, F/M, Fingering, First Time, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, Initiation, Mirrors, Romance, Seduction, sweet surrender
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2019-05-17 21:56:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 44,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14839883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VoyaMariner/pseuds/VoyaMariner
Summary: Eva converged with Fate at a crucial point. She got a terrific offer and now she was on her way to her life's adventure! She was to join the world tour of Julian Woolfe. . .!"So, my Little Red Riding Hood, how do you fancy your tour so far? Is it all that you expected?” he asked from over at his corner.Eva turned her head towards the Woolfe sitting there, so close to her and yet so far away.“Yeah, I think so,” she smiled, “I do fancy what I’m experiencing, but it is not at all what I expected. It is something very, very different.”************************************





	THE ALL OR NOTHING GAME

**THE ALL OR NOTHING GAME**

 

One man’s loss is another man’s gain, as they say. Eva Sanderson knew that, but the harsh reality of it was nonetheless hard to accept. As always, in moments of crises, she went back home to Granny to talk it over with her and to get her advice.

Back home was in South Dakota, somewhere on the endless grassy plains between the James and Missouri rivers. When she asked the driver of the bus between Madison and Huron to stop in the middle of nowhere, he looked curiously at her and had a question on the tip of his tongue. Yet, she looked noncommittally at him, standing close to the door with her small suitcase in her hand, just waiting for him to open it. So without any comments he let her out and she climbed down on the road and watched the bus disappear in the distance in a cloud of dust. A great silence fell over and around her, and she sat down on the suitcase to wait patiently for Granny or whomever Granny might send along. The fields, gently billowing in the soft breeze, stretched forever around her, touching the horizon at all the points of the compass. The sky was light blue and slightly hazy.

Eva closed her eyes a bit and thought about Granny. She wondered how many times she had prompted the old woman to move into something more convenient and easy to manage than that farm out on the plains.

“Never!” Granny had replied vehemently. “I’ve lived here all my life, and my family before me. And mind you, I’ll die here too. They’ll have to carry me off this estate.”

And that was always the end of the discussion. Deep down Eva was happy with that Granny persisted somehow because Eva looked upon this place as her real home. This was what came to her mind when out in the world, and this place was where she longed to be whenever in trouble or facing the dire realities of making life work.

It hadn’t always been her home of course, but Eva had lived there for such a long time that she couldn’t remember living in another place, although she had heard stories told of her childhood. She had come to stay with Granny when she was three years old at the moment her father had left the family for good; father being Granny’s youngest son and therefore making her Eva’s paternal grandmother. Eva didn’t know why her mother had chosen to go to the family of her husband instead of her own family when caught in this trauma, but as with all things which concerned her mother it was muddled, shrouded in questions and secrets, and Eva just didn’t care for the moment to find out why.

If she didn’t remember anything about her father leaving her life, the memory of her mother breaking up and disappearing out of view, was all the more vivid and painful.

Eva was close to six years old when she one day overheard a heated discussion between Granny and her mother.

“I realize that there isn’t much I can do to persuade you to think over your situation and make another choice. We’ve talked about this now so many, many times. But I will just want to let you know that although I might not be able to keep you from making a mess of your own life, I will NEVER let you ruin that of Eva! You may go and do whatever you want, but she stays HERE!”

Eva couldn’t hear what her mother had answered — only the shrill tone of her voice. Then she heard how the two women had started to shout at each other. Not wanting to hear more of the awful thing going on, Eva had put her hands over her ears and had run out of the house and into the barn to hide there.

A few days later her mother approached her with total awkwardness and tried to explain that she was “only going to be away for a couple of months and that there was this big opportunity, which she couldn’t miss out on. And of COURSE she would come and pick up Eva as SOON as everything was settled and her future secured.” This was now twenty years ago. Eva had turned to Granny and had hidden behind her skirts, refusing even to talk to her mother. From that moment on, Granny was the only relative whom Eva ever came to accept, the only one she ever trusted completely and the only one she ever cared for and whose judgment, in all that was hard to deal with, was like the verdict of King Solomon out of the Bible. That was why Eva was on her way to Granny now, and Granny had never let her down.

Eva knew that without Granny she might even have died as her own parents eventually did. Coming thus far in her roaming thoughts, Eva always closed a door inside. She knew that it was a matter which she hadn’t fully penetrated and which was so filled with pain that she couldn’t really touch on it yet. Eva knew that Granny was aware of this too, and Granny had refrained from talking about it save for the mere practical details which were necessary to know and to deal with. Since Eva hadn’t had any opportunity to get to know her father, the news of his death and the implications of it, only had to do with the silent sorrow Granny harbored. Eva mourned with Granny and mourned that she couldn’t feel any real feelings when confronted with her father’s death. It might as well have been that of a distant relative. Her father had died the death of a mercenary soldier in a meaningless war somewhere in Africa. Eva’s mother had survived him with more than ten years and was eventually found in a pad in San Francisco, dead from an overdose of heroin. Over the years, Eva had received the odd letters from her mother and once even a telephone call. These sparse contacts had only enhanced her feeling of loneliness. Eva felt that she was left to cater for herself, and that she was the only one capable of chiseling out her own future. Yet again, she knew that without Granny she wouldn’t have made it through these difficult times. She felt a wave of warmth and love wash over her when thinking of the old woman.

Lost in her memories, Eva almost missed the first sound of a vehicle approaching her. When she was a child and waited at the side of the road for someone to fetch her, she had amused herself to find out how long it took for the car to reach her from the moment she spotted it. Now she saw the cloud of dust in the distance and heard the engine of the old Ford very clearly. She laughed quietly. She knew that it was Granny herself coming to pick her up because no one cared to drive that rickety old car but Granny.

Eva was on her feet before the car had come to a stop, and she ran up towards the woman who disengaged herself from the wheel with some difficulty. They hugged and performed a little dance on the road and they could almost have fallen to the ground, hadn’t Eva stopped them in time.

“It’s so wonderful to be back again…”

“I’ve missed you so much these months…”

They spoke breathlessly at the same time and started to laugh. At last they managed to look at each other fully and composedly.

“You’ve really been gone so long this time,” Granny said. Then she started to look Eva over scrutinizing. “You’ve lost even more weight since I saw you last. You’re not eating properly there in New York!”

“Oh Granny! Don’t worry, everything is fine and I’m fine,” Eva laughed. “Come on now, let's go home, we can’t stand here in the middle of the road, the sun will be setting soon.”

So at last they went for the car and started their way to the farm, a drive Eva knew would take them around half an hour from here. She had done it so many times before. Every weekend during school days for example. When she had started school, she had gone to live with her uncle Marshall in Huron. Marshall was Granny’s oldest son and a lawyer with a blooming business in the city. Granny always said that God had given all the mirth to Eva’s father and only left the gloom for Marshall. All the same, the latter was a pillar of strength, and Eva knew that neither she nor Granny would have coped without him and all the help he had provided when Eva’s parents had died. Eva also knew that Marshall took care of all legal business tied to the farm which was a great relief for Granny.

“Have you had any news from Marshall as of late?” Eva asked, thinking about him now.

“Yes, dear, everything is fine and he sends his love. He might come with the family for the weekend, but it is not fully decided yet. That depends on how much work his present case in court will burden him with.”

“Ah!” Eva exclaimed. “Granny, I don’t know if I will be able to stay all the way to the weekend. You see, that depends on the decision I have to make. And Granny, that is what I need to talk to you about. But not here in the car. You will not want to listen to me now.”

“On the contrary,” Granny replied. “Here is as good a place as any. We will not be disturbed by anyone.”

So, Eva began then to unburden her mind to Granny on the decision that might change her life forever.

It all had to do with work; the line of work Eva had chosen for herself. Or perhaps it would be more accurate in telling of her passion because sometimes that word was a better description. Eva was but a child when she displayed a talent for working with colors. When no canvases were around to use, she used her own face and that of anyone who complied to be transformed into a clown, cat, fairy or monster; all according to the whim of the artist. Eva was never in any doubt that this would eventually be her vocation, and she applied to a college in California where she could pursue her talents and become the makeup artist she wanted to be.

The practice was the fun part. Eva teamed up with another student, Janet, who was perhaps even more daring in her choices of color and hairstyle than Eva was herself, and together they offered to do makeup jobs in small theaters and for young aspiring Hollywood stars and charged nothing for their services. Janet’s big break came when she fell in love with a country musician. She went off with him to Nashville and eventually landed a top job there, doing the makeup for a TV show. Eva used to marvel at reading Janet’s name in the credits at the end of the episodes and shows. Eva was more drawn to the theater than to TV show biz though. As she had always wanted to live on the East Coast, she tried her luck in New York. She knew of course that she hadn’t made it easy for herself. She dared hardly think of all the aspiring makeup artists who were in the area at the same time, all waiting for the big chance to turn up, for the opportunities to open up towards fame and glory. However, Eva persisted and finally got a steady job as an assistant at a TV station, making people ready for the camera and the live interviews moreover doing the makeup for the news anchors before they went online. Eva was content with her life. She supported herself and didn’t have to ask for help from anyone. She even managed to get herself a small flat in Brooklyn in a quiet area which felt very far from the bustling city uptown. She met Janet now and then, especially when Janet visited New York together with her fiancé, the musician. Janet confided in her that she had consented to follow the band on the next tour, if she could manage to get vacation from her TV show for a couple of months. Eva wondered a bit at the restlessness in her friend, but at the same time she understood that Janet maybe didn’t want her boyfriend to go away for such a long time without her. After all, who knew what temptations he might meet on the road? Janet wouldn’t want to find that out. Yes, Eva understood, but she didn’t discuss it with her friend.

All the same, life on tour seemed to agree with Janet. She became known for her very good work among the pros in the trade, and before Janet knew it SHE was the one in demand and not her boyfriend. This proved to be a tension which their relationship didn’t hold for in the end, and eventually they drifted apart. Eva got the details by and by as they dropped in via letters, emails and telephone calls. In the meantime Janet was a rising star in her line of business.

Then, one day, the lives of Eva and Janet converged again in a fatal way. It was this development Eva wanted to discuss with Granny.

“You see, Granny,” Eva began, “Janet called me the other day and had a proposition for me. And I don’t know if I shall take this job or not.”

“Janet, yes,” Granny mused absent-mindedly, keeping her eyes on the road. “How is she these days? As busy as ever?”

Eva didn’t answer directly, but continued her story. “Janet has really been eating life with a silver spoon! She got this terrific offer and should have been on her way to her life’s adventure, you see. I had heard that she was to join the world tour of Julian Woolfe!!”

“Who?”

“But Granny!!!” Eva was really exasperated now. “Of course you must have heard about Julian Woolfe! He is a superstar from Britain and he has been a top billing for at least ten years now, in the class of George Michael and Beyoncé!”

“Eva, dear,” Granny broke her off with her most infuriating innocence. “I don't have the slightest notion whom you are talking about. You MUST know that I only listen to radio in the evenings and then only to the local news…” Her voice trailed off as Eva started to laugh.

“Granny, my sweet lovely Granny, don’t pretend innocence! I know, since helping you tidying up in your wardrobe years ago that you have kept newspaper clippings from YOUR faves at the time. So if I say that Julian Woolfe today is what your Mario Lanza and Enrico Caruso were at the time, then you might get it.”

“Hum!” Granny muttered. “But Mario Lanza never went on a tour!”

“No, that’s right, because it wasn’t done that way in those days. It was almost enough to show up outside Grauman’s Chinese Theater in Los Angeles. But today it’s vital to reach the fans in person, all of them. So all of these super artists are going around the world almost endlessly. Look at Bob Dylan! Do you think he’ll ever stop now?

“Hum,” Granny said again because Bob Dylan was at least not unknown to her. “Well, so Janet was to go on tour,” Granny continued. “Is that what you are telling me? And you use past tense. So what has happened?”

“Janet called me last Sunday from the hospital in Nashville which is still her base, you know, and said that she had been operated on! She had broken her right leg in no less than three places when she slipped on the wet tiles by the pool in her gym and fell down the stairs leading to the water. She was rushed to surgery and it was successful. But of course, she’ll be out of focus for the rest of the year. Personally, the only thing that is of importance for me is that Janet can walk again. I’m sooo sad for her. But then she started to talk of this situation and the work she had been offered with Woolfe. She told me that she had already been in contact with Maryka Vollerhofen who is Julian Woolfe’s personal assistant. Miss Vollerhofen is the one with all the decisions in her hand, and Janet recommended that they would sign ME up instead. I was to expect a telephone call from this Miss Vollerhofen the next day.”

“And she called too. She sounded very formal in the phone I must say. And I guess that I was a bit colored by all the stories I’ve heard of her. Being the tiger and bully that everyone has to pass, before gaining access to Julian’s person, and guarding him with her life. Maybe half of it is true and the rest the usual crap, but fact remains. Any person to work closely with Julian Woolfe must be approved by her.”

“I tried to sound casual and interested at the same time, and I told her that I needed around two days to find out if I could manage to get out of my present obligations to be able to join. She answered that she understood that I needed some time to make arrangements, but more than two days she couldn’t wait. And Granny, this was yesterday. So I HAVE to give an answer tomorrow. And if I accept, I will fly to Fort Lauderdale the day after. So you see, I might not be able to stay the weekend after all. But I so need to talk this over with you. Please don’t answer now. Let’s talk seriously about it later on, after dinner.” 

At last Eva fell silent.

Granny patted her arm, and she did it softly conveying all the comfort Eva had always needed, and Granny didn’t have to tell her that all would be good in the end. Eva would never doubt that in Granny’s presence; the only fear and chill in her heart being the thought of how long Granny would still remain a vital presence in her life.

“I’ve cooked you favorite Chicken Supreme for dinner,” Granny ventured instead of launching in any reflections on Eva’s tale. “We’ll eat as soon as you have washed a bit.”

They made the rest of the journey in silence.

**********

It was a lovely dinner and as usual in Granny’s place, a rather lively affair. One would think that Granny lived a quiet and almost lonely life out there on the plains, but nothing could be farther from the truth. Although Granny was a widow from before Eva ever came to live with her, Granny’s house had always been full of people. Three farmhands had always been present on the estate, and one of them was now married too with a small family to support. His wife helped Granny in the kitchen, and the children filled the house, the stables and the barns with life and laughter, and Eva guessed that they looked on Granny the way she had done too already from the start; as a pillar of strength and an endless source of real goodness, care and love.

Left to themselves in the big living room, Eva lit a fire in the big fireplace and went to fetch the coffee.

“Granny, you see,” Eva called from the kitchen. “Miss Vollerhofen told me that if I accepted to sign up, I would have to do that for the full tour. There would be no breaking off and leaving in the middle. And she also told me, that however sorry she felt for Janet under the circumstance, she didn’t consider Janet an option any longer. Again, if Janet couldn’t be available for the whole period, she was out of the game. And I don’t know if Janet is aware of this. I guess so. Perhaps after all. She’s been in this trade for a while, and I think she would know the rules. But STILL, I’m so split and torn by this fact! I feel as if I were stealing her job and her position. What shall I do, Granny? Please tell me what to do.”

“My sweet,” Granny said, “the most important part is however one you haven’t touched on yet, have you? I mean, what about your present work? You have a work to go to every day — well, almost. I know since you work nights, you get a couple of extra days off in between. But you must have taken into consideration that if you jump on this bandwagon, you will have to quit this work.” Granny’s face had now taken on a serious expression.

Eva hid her face in her hands. “Yes Granny,” she whispered, “I HAVE been thinking of this. I know that if I decide on committing myself to this tour, I have to quit my present job. First of all, I can take out some vacation of course. You know as well as I do, that I haven’t had a proper vacation for two years now, so I’ve accumulated a bit. And mind you, I’m not going lie to these people back there. I can’t lie about anything, not even in the form of white lies. I’ll ask for my vacation and if they want to know the reason why, then I’ll tell them. And if they want to sack me then, fair enough. From my own point of view, I’m certain of that I’ll know within a week if I’ll stay on this tour or not.”

Granny shook her head a bit, and now she looked almost sad.

“Eva, my little girl, you have no idea of how much of both your mother and father that I see in you at this very moment. The same urge to do what one has to do. And I guess I won’t be able to stop you, as little as I managed to stop them. The only consolation being that your quest at least contains elements of reasoning and substance. And perhaps you will make a success out of it. As for your friend Janet, you must know deep down inside that Janet wouldn’t even have mentioned you to these people, had she felt jealousy towards you for taking her place. No, as far as I can gather, she is really giving you a precious gift; an opportunity that would never have come your way otherwise. And if you are only thinking of her, the choice must be an easy one.”

Eva slid to the floor and buried her head in Granny’s lap and Granny gently caressed her head. They were both silent for a while.

“I’ll go then!” Eva looked up, almost defiantly, and they hugged again for a long time.

“You’ll have to teach me how to keep track of you. That Internet thing you know…” Granny said after a while, and Eva cried and laughed at the same time.

**********

That is how Eva came to stand in front of the meticulously cured and manicured flawless beauty of the woman called Maryka Vollerhofen. They were presently in a hotel room in one of the larger hotels in Fort Lauderdale, and Eva kept looking over the head of the other woman at the milling life among all the slick yachts in the harbor outside the window. They had just signed the contracts and were now engaged in a conversation which was meant to be leisurely and relaxed.

“You must call me Maryka,” the woman insisted. “No one uses the surnames here you know.” She smiled — a smile that never reached her eyes.

Eva understood that this was not just pleasantries. They indicated what tone Maryka expected the present setup to have. An indication of how she was to meet Julian Woolfe himself too of course — although that was never said in so many words.

Eva was not unfamiliar with Maryka’s career, if one could call it that. Being of Dutch decent she had met Julian already in England when his career was on the rise. She had since then been working close to him for almost all the time he had hit it big. There were rumors telling of a brief affair many years ago, and if that were true, it would have said something about the woman who stayed on after it was ended to manage the career of her ex-lover. Rumors also had it that she was worse than any bodyguard when it came to shielding her protégé from “unwanted” attention. The fact remained however that Julian accepted to have her around and depended deeply on her to take care of all the practical details in his life. Thus, Eva concluded in her mind, it was indeed vital to be on good foot with this lady.

“Let’s go and see then if we can find Julian now so that you can be introduced and discuss how he wants you to work with the upcoming shows.” Maryka rose, ending the conversation.

They went along the corridor on a carpet that was so thick and luxurious that their feet made no sound. It was an almost eerie feeling, and for a little while Eva felt as if wrapped in an unreal dream. She was soon to be recalled to the present, however. Outside a door farther down, there were two men positioned, one sitting down and the other standing up. Eva realized that they must be Julian’s bodyguards. At that moment, it sort of hit home for the first time that she had moved into another world — one widely differing from what had been hers up to this day. Maryka said something to one of the guards in a low voice, and he opened the door for them and let them into a small hall with yet another door which hopefully led to Julian's present apartment. Eva didn’t know that such hotel suites even existed. Maryka knocked on the inner door, and Eva heard a voice answer at the other side. Then she was unceremoniously ushered into the presence of the man himself.

Julian Woolfe certainly didn’t look like a superstar at the very first glance. He lounged, rather carelessly dressed, in front of the TV and had evidently been watching one of the numerous talk shows which ran without breaks on the TV channels in the hotel. He put down his tea cup and rose when they entered. He looked first briefly at Maryka. Then concentrated his gaze on Eva. And he smiled. That wolfish grin Eva knew from so many pictures. She took in all the impressions as if in a breath. That he wasn’t as young as his pictures wanted to convey, that he had small lines in his face, which made it more interesting than those buffed and retouched plastic versions of him which were spread everywhere around town for the moment; that he had extraordinarily beautiful features with high cheekbones, a prominent sharp nose, a full and sensitive mouth and above all those mesmerizing almost steely eyes, which seemed to penetrate her now.

“Julian, dear,” Maryka murmured behind her. “This is Eva Sanderson who has so graciously accepted helping us now that Janet Birkman can no longer be available.”

Julian raised his eyebrows and extended his hand for a greeting. When she took it, she felt that it was warm and strong.

“Where do you come from?” was his first and rather unconventional question. Eva was taken aback and felt confused all at once.

“South Dakota," she answered and could have bitten her tongue when realizing that New York would have sounded so much better under the circumstances.

His grin widened and he made a small tour around her. Eva’s discomfort and uncertainty rose with each step he took. What kind of survey was this? Would she have to accept to be subject to it? She heard him click his tongue twice in small, almost inaudible, appreciative noises.

“Wow,” he laughed,” I had no idea of that so much style and elegance could come out of that place.”

Eva couldn’t prevent an awful blush from starting to travel her throat and cheeks, and anger came too.

“You evidently haven’t been there, I can tell … Sir,” she added in a measured tone before she even had time to think of what she answered. At the same time she experienced seeing what he saw. A slender, almost delicate woman with a fair skin with just a hint of freckles, long auburn hair, loosely tied in a careless knot at the nape of her neck, soft full lips, prominent eyebrows, giving character to her face and liquid violet-blue eyes. His appreciation was evident, and he was also amused by her talking back.

“No offence, no offence!” he touched her shoulder lightly. “And by the way, if you “Sir” me one more time, you’ll be out of here before you even have time to say “I’m sorry." I’m Julian and you are?”

“Eva!” she said, taking his hand which he offered again as if signing a peace contract. Then Eva felt that the awful moment had passed and that she was approved of, and now she could laugh too.

Maryka made a small cough behind them and thus brought them back to the present.

“Julian,” she said, “what time do you want Eva to turn up before the show? Since this is the first time, you may want her to come a bit earlier perhaps?”

“Yes, I’d say,” he replied and the laughter left his face to give room to the professional. He turned again to Eva. “I will be on stage around ten in the evening so it’ll be fine if you could turn up around half past eight. Better let someone show you the premises. You’ve been backstage on a set like this before?” The last bit was a question. Eva shook her head and Maryka intervened.

“Don’t worry Julian; I will take care of this. Eight thirty this evening, she’ll be in your dressing-room.”

When the two women left the room after having said their good-byes, Eva reflected on Maryka again. She wondered to herself how many times Maryka had said those words: “Don’t worry Julian.” There must have been countless moments.

**********

Maryka engaged one of the young roadies, Martin, to take Eva around the stage — both back and front. Eva was really in awe of the construction, raising high above her head like a complex skeleton of steel, hundreds of workers crawling around it to get the lines, wires, electricity, light and sound in order and place for tonight’s concert. The sound testing had already begun, and Eva could see that the musicians in the band were milling about the stage, testing their equipment.

“Let’s take the chance to meet the band too,” Martin ventured. “They can do with a break.”

Together they climbed the stage. Eva had read countless articles about the band members and heard them play too, partly on audio recordings and partly from live sessions on TV. It would, of course, be a totally different thing to hear them live. It was a thoroughly international band Julian had put together when he started touring again some years ago. Yet, however disparate they seemed as personalities, when they entered the stage they became a tight knit unit.

Steven Macintosh from Philadelphia was one of the two guitarists — the hot and trashy according to Julian. Steven had become the spokesman for the group, more or less self-appointed. The others didn’t seem to mind but were rather happy to let anyone with Steven's vitality deal with all the practical details. Then there was the second guitarist, Klaus Schiller from Berlin, the poetic one as Julian had once described him. When let loose — and Julian often did so — Klaus would climb heights with his instrument, lost to the world. The base was played by a phenomenon in the music world, the charcoal black Daren Ndolo, originally from Nigeria but operating since years in San Francisco. Daren was a natural on rhythms. He could pick up the most intricate one imagined and get it into his fingers and body within a take, never to forget it again. It was as if it were built into him and a source of endless fascination to Julian. Daren was the solid rock the band was leaning on; with him there, getting the perfect beat from the beginning, everyone felt safe on stage. Cooperating closely with Daren to form the exquisite rhythm and drum section which was the trade mark of Julian’s present band, was Bo Lassiter from Jamaica. Lastly, to enhance and put that shimmering touch to the music was Rupert Hain on synth. Rupert was from Manchester in England and had worked closely with Julian ever since the start. He knew exactly what Julian wanted and not many words were wasted on explanations or intentions between the two of them.

Steven approached them now and met them halfway. He looked with apprehension and curiosity at Eva and broke into a little improvised welcome-speech when Martin had introduced her. Steven brought her along to the band.

“Eva, now?” Klaus said with his slight German accent as he focused his soft, almost sad eyes on her. “Well, as long as I don’t see an Adam in the tow, I’m confident that this will be totally swell.”

Eva flashed a smile towards him and turned to Daren, marveling over the almost statuesque base player in front of her. He would make a wonderful model for her to paint on! Daren seemed to feel her appreciation because he flexed his well-trained body a bit extra for her to the great amusement of the others. The elegant Rupert Hain bowed ceremoniously over her hand and pretended to blow a kiss on it, and Bo Lassiter drummed up a small fanfare on his instrument.

“Well, boys,” Eva called out to them when proceeding to follow Martin who was already on his way backstage, “I’ll guess I’ll be seeing a lot of you — and I don’t mind that at all!”

She lifted a hand in the air and made the V-sign and was greeted with appreciative whistles and a cacophony of instrumental noise.

It was a good idea, Eva realized, when entering the backstage area that she got some knowledge of the place in advance. Without any guide, she would soon be lost in there. Now Martin pointed out all the different stairs and doors and explained to what area they belonged and led to. Eva asked him to concentrate on how to quickly find Julian’s dressing room because that was to be the only essential thing for her to know in the beginning. She would have an hour and a half with Julian during this first session before the show. She would also have to be at hand to help him better his makeup and hair if needed when he went off stage for a break. The rest of the maze which made up the backstage she would have to learn about later. Martin agreed with her and showed her in detail how to get to Julian’s room in the best and quickest manner, if she came from the outside. There were security checks which she would have to be prepared for, several of them, and she must always be sure to wear her pass card clearly visible. He clicked his tongue in admiration when she showed him her new one. It said “Category One” on it which meant that she belonged to the few people on the premises who had full access to Julian’s person.

As they talked and walked about the stage, the sun started to set and soon the place would be filled with an audience full of anticipation. A loudspeaker boomed over the arena, announcing that it was time to leave the front stage at this instance, and Eva thanked Martin for the guided tour as everyone started to withdraw backstage or leave the place to come back later.

“If you want to,” Martin said and looked shyly at her from the corner of his eyes. “I can show you a marvelous spot to watch the gig from. I mean, you don’t have to sit around in the dressing room all the night, do you?”

Eva raised her eyebrows and smiled in pleasant surprise.

“Oh! How nice of you. Can it be done? And we won’t be in anyone’s way? And can I quickly get back to Julian’s place, when I need to?

Martin laughed at all her eager questions.

“No prob at all. When you’re done with all that makeup thing and he is on his way out here, I’ll be waiting for you behind that big loud speaker set — he pointed over to the left — and from there I’ll show you were to go. OK?”

“OK! Yes! Thank you!” and they parted company because Eva wanted to get a bite to eat before the evening started. She hadn’t eaten during the whole day and all of a sudden she realized that she felt famished.

**********

It was nearly eight thirty in the evening when Eva returned to the arena. The atmosphere was now totally different from earlier during the day. Now it was charged with electricity, a seething pot of anticipation and common yearning. The band which was to introduce Julian was already at work out there, and Eva felt the whole stage vibrate with the sound. She hastened towards Julian’s dressing room and had to pass three security checks before she found herself in the area where it was situated. She knocked just briefly and entered without waiting for an answer. After all, they had made an appointment for this evening, and he was waiting for her. They greeted each other, and Eva put her small suitcase down on the floor. She felt nervous — she had to admit that — but she also knew that as soon as she had started to work, she would snap out of that feeling. He looked her over quietly and expectantly.

“First of all,” she said, “I want to know if there is something in particular which you wish me to concentrate on.”

“Nope,” he smiled teasingly, “I’ll leave it all to you tonight. Let’s see what the result will be like when you have finished.”

So, he was going to challenge her? Well, he could try!

“All right,” she smiled, “fair enough. What will you be wearing tonight?”

He pointed at the costume displayed on a hanger in the room. It was a bright yellow jacket and equally bright yellow-striped trousers.

“I see,” she said, “yellow is not an easy color, but we’ll manage that too.”

Then she proceeded to put herself in front of him, between him and the mirror, so that she could look directly at him. Now all at once her gaze was a different one. Now she looked at him in a totally professional way. It was as if he sensed this because he relaxed in the chair and extended his long legs on either side of her. She took care to look at all the details this time. The flaws and the features which needed enhancing. When she was done, she moved around him and swept a big towel around his chest and shoulders. Then she put her fingers into his hair — the first time ever that she touched him in anything but a formal way. She let her supple fingers slip along his scalp, massaging his head slowly and steadily. He wasn’t prepared for this, but reacted as everyone had done before him when treated to her initial massage.

“Mmmmmm…”he murmured involuntarily and let his head fall back against the rest.

“Good,” she encouraged. “That is what it is for, to relax. That is the best thing before any session. It brings the blood in circulation and unwinds all the tensions. Even if we only will have an hour to do the makeup in the future, I will always start off with a quick massage."

Eva could see a look which almost looked like regret in his face when she stopped, but he made no comments about it. Instead she quickly started trying out a base color for covering his face, both with his own skin in mind and with an eye on what he would wear. She worked with speed but not in haste. She kept looking at his face, but she didn’t see Julian. She saw a face to build up and paint. All the while he had his eyes fastened on her with enormous concentration. He didn’t try to meet her eyes. She accentuated his prominent cheekbones and sensitive nostrils and did a daring eye makeup for him. She outlined his lips before painting them and she could see them quiver slightly when she drew the line around them with her soft pencil. She had a very special mascara which she wanted to try on him. She was quite aware of that he often displayed his androgyny, and she wanted to stress this feature a bit extra. The innuendo between his looks and his actions would not be lost on his fans; she was sure of that. She drew back and surveyed the result. Not bad. He looked like the alluring wolf she wanted to convey to the audience. Lastly, she turned to his hair. It wasn’t common that makeup artists did hairs too, but that was one of the special features in her training and maybe why she landed this job in the first place. She sculptured his head and yet made it look as if he had casually drawn his fingers through the hair. It must look natural. Before finishing off, she asked him to cover his face with his hands while she applied the hairspray. Then she was done with him. She moved behind him and asked him to take a look. And now their eyes met in the mirror. He nodded slowly.

“Mmm, I like it! Good. What is it you have done to the hair? It looks different?”

“It is a special spray to be used in spotlight. It brings out the color of the hair to shine with a light of its own. Up there on stage you will look almost translucent, generating your own light. It mustn’t be too much, just a touch of it, you know.”

“I have one reservation,” she added. “I haven’t been able to see what these colors in your face will look like in the spotlights you are going to be subjected to. I will not know until I see you out there,” she smiled.

“You will watch the show?”

“Yes!” There was no idea lying about that fact. “I will watch it from the wings.”

“Where will you be standing?”

“Oh, I don’t really know exactly where, I will have someone to show me to get there, but I promise you that I won’t be in anyone’s way and I’ll be here when you need me again."

“Oh, that’s all right. I think it’s a good idea that you should watch the show. You will know the basics then, so to speak, and I’d recommend that for the future. Very good idea.”

“By the way," he added lightly after the briefest of hesitations. “Who will show you where to stand?”

“His name is Martin and I believe he is one of the roadies,” she answered, still intent on not making the truth fancier than it was.

“I see,” he added after a brief pause and evidently the matter was closed for him then.

He rose from the chair and flung the towel but also the bathrobe he had been wearing aside, only to reveal that he didn’t wear any shirt underneath but displayed his bare chest. He was statuesque to look at, all smooth and shiny, muscles rippling beneath his flawless skin in a measured way. Eva took a step back and couldn’t help that her eyes widened at the sight of him. She didn’t want to show him that she had reacted, but now it was too late. She also observed that he had noted it from the corner of his eyes, but she collected herself quickly though.

“Well, I’m done with you! I guess you want to let the dresser in. I’ll see you before the Encores then.”

He moved and faced her directly, focusing his deadly charm on her; the one he otherwise usually sent out over an audience of 40,000 spectators.

“Enjoy yourself! See you later, Eva.”

She felt as if hit by something when she heard him use her name. It was personal in a way that hadn’t been necessary, but she smiled wide.

“Yes! I will! I’m sure of it.”

Then she hastily left the room before anything else could be said.

**********

Backstage, the general feeling was one of elation. Everyone seemed charged to the maximum. Eva found Martin fidgeting at their meeting place, and he seemed anxious to get on the move.

“I thought you wouldn’t turn up,” he breathed as if it were necessary to keep the conversation clandestine.

“Look, I want to show you something before we enter the stand.”

He took her by the hand and brought her over to a big announcement board near the stairs which led to the dressing rooms. It was a plastic board where the written messages could be erased and replaced by new ones, just like in school but not so big.

“Here,” said Martin, “you can always see what is going on for the night. All “surprises” are listed here because to us they mustn’t be surprises. You can see exactly where they are planning to take the break and what numbers which will be performed for the Encore and so on. If there are any guest artists, they will show here too. He usually does “Standing Alone” before the break, preceded by “Slaughterhouse." But this way you will never have to guess and be in doubt, you can always plan your evening.”

“Thank you!” Eva laughed. “My self-appointed guardian angel!” she added teasingly as he tried in vain to hide a blush.

But soon they had other things to think about. A giant roar from the audience on the other side, advised them of that Julian must have entered the stage at last. So as not to miss anything, they hurried up on the elevated platform and hid from view behind a giant spotlight unit. Eva looked in total exhilaration out over the billowing mass of human bodies which seemed to move forward as one entity when Julian strode out on the stage. From where she was standing — she was at the extreme left of the stage — she could also see one of the giant screens clearly. This was going to be a good position to view it all from.

**********

The concert lasted for two hours. To Eva it could have gone on forever. Her own crucial moment came when she had to be back in Julian’s dressing room for the intermission. It was a funny feeling being in the room alone, waiting for him, but she could follow the action on stage even here. A small monitor on the wall broadcasted the show to his quarters so that he would be totally updated on, what was going on up there on the stage. While waiting, she heated the damp towels she had brought along and took out some powder to use to take the shine away from his face. There wasn’t going to be time to redo anything, only to repair and freshen up. She saw that the dresser had put out a new T-shirt for him to change into. It was evilly green and would no doubt stand out on stage. She wondered about the almost aggressive note he had chosen for this particular evening and wondered if it changed or if this were the “mood” of the present tour. But soon enough there was no more time to think and reflect. She saw that “Standing Alone” was drawing to its close which meant that they would soon be down here, all of them. The band also had their dressing rooms nearby but not directly linked to Julian’s. Clamor and footsteps told her that they were on their way. The security guard threw the door open and Julian came into the room with a rush, instantly bringing it to life with his presence. He greeted her briefly but seemed occupied in a way that didn’t invite to conversation. He stripped his wet jacket off, and she threw a damp, warm towel over to him to wipe his body with. His semi-nakedness didn’t bother her this time because she knew what to expect. He pulled the fresh T-shirt over his head and slumped into the chair in front of the mirror. She started scrutinizing at his face at close range and went about retouching it here and there, finishing off with a thin film of powder just to get the fresh look back again. The she brushed his hair and set it with another cloud of hairspray. He looked ready to go on stage again but wasn’t evidently prepared for it yet. He lit a cigarette and inhaled the smoke greedily. Still they hadn’t uttered a word to each other. Which was fine with Eva, she wasn’t here to chat. She was here to work and if he wasn’t in the mood to talk, then it wasn’t for her to initiate a conversation.

She went about packing her things together and was almost ready to go when she heard him clear his throat behind her.

“Having a good time?” he asked

“Yes!” she nodded and smiled at the same time. “It’s …… totally fabulous.” She didn’t know what more to say.

Yet he was already on his way out of the room flashing a quick smile in her direction. When he had gone, Eva hurried back to Martin who was still positioned on the platform and enjoyed the Encore together with him.

When it was all over and the lights went down, it was as if reality emerged again from the transformation the concert had generated. Everyone was still elated and laughter and shouting filled the air.

“Come on,” Martin urged her. “Let’s go with the others for a beer or something.”

Eva hesitated though; she was so tired by now that she was almost shaking. This day seemed to have harbored the happenings of four and all she really wished for was to flatten out in bed.

“Oh please, come along. It’s sleeping-in-time tomorrow. We’re off for New Orleans but not until the afternoon,” Martin pleaded and at last she gave in. Thinking too of the impression she wanted to make on her new friends. They might think that it was impolite and callous of her not to show up for her first After-Show. So she left the premises together with Martin to join others from the crew and the band who now waited outside the gates. She wasn’t at all prepared for the hullabaloo going on out there. Several TV-teams had met up with their heavy equipment, trying to catch a glimpse of Julian and to interview him. She could see him standing beside the car which was to bring him back to his hotel. She could see that he was in the company of Maryka. The bodyguards moved about restlessly and behind the fence, on the other side of the street, the fans tried to claw their way up towards the best position for taking photos and perhaps get an autograph, if the object of their attention deigned to consider that. However, Julian ducked into the black limousine as soon as he was ready with the TV-reporters and in a rush the car was gone.

“We know of a great place with Mexican food and cool beer here in Lauderdale,” she heard a voice say behind her. When she turned around, Klaus and Steven were grinning at her. She laughed and nudged Martin.

“Let’s go then,” she called out and together they hailed a couple of taxis and were soon off into the velvety dark Florida night.

To be honest, Eva didn’t remember much of the late part of the evening. When finally back into her hotel room — situated in a much more modest environment than the luxury palace Julian shared with Maryka — she only heard a humming noise in her head which was a grand mixture of laughter, conversation and late jamming which the band had treated the little restaurant to. It really had been so good. She was happy with that she had decided to join in. She hoped that she had been coherent and not made a fool out of herself. Klaus had said something about drowning in her violet eyes, and Martin had raised his voice a bit, but other than that, Eva was quite convinced of that she had now been taken up as a part of this setup, this almost living entity, made out of all the individuals who worked in a giant effort on a night like this for a common goal; to make this fairy story come true to 40,000 spectators who would live with the memory of this super show for years to come.

**********

The weeks which followed were strange, hard, hilarious and unreal. Eva realized soon that she still had a lot to learn about this, her new universe. There were a lot of unwritten rules to take into account. She couldn’t address Daren, who was married, in the same way as Steven or Klaus with whom she could flirt at her leisure. Rupert Hain was unreadable, not unlike Julian even, and she took care to be suave and elegant in his presence. Bo was the hardest to reach. She had an inkling of that he was on some stuff or other, because he was not very present. However, this was one of those things which weren’t discussed. Bo did what was asked of him on stage and with brilliance too, and as long as he did that Steven said nothing about it, especially not to Julian. Martin had of course fallen in love with her; she knew that without asking. He kept “bumping” into her at all odd hours, asked her out, proposed plans for them and jealously guarded the platform where they still kept watching the shows together. Eva was very fond of Martin, but she took great care not to involve herself personally with anyone. Life here was complicated enough. She found out too that she wasn’t alone in experiencing that rehearsing/working in the presence of Maryka was something to endure rather than look forward to. Eva couldn’t really put her finger on the unease that woman caused when she entered a room. And she often did, unannounced. Eva hoped though that her discomfort in the presence of the other woman didn’t show. Eva really went out of her way to be pleasant and forthcoming.

Above all Eva realized that she had a lot to learn about Julian.

She was soon made aware of that “change” was the key word here. No show was like another, and this created both tension and elation in the set. The fans were made to sweat — especially in a place, where Julian performed more than once. Since no one would know what the theme would be for the two or three nights in question, it was imperative to get tickets for all of them. It put a demand on Eva too. Should she prepare for a hot and sexy night like the one in Fort Lauderdale or was it going to be one in a subdued almost sad mood or yet again was it to be a sweeeeeet night? The one in New Orleans for example could definitely be called sweet. He had chosen to dress in a shirt with lace and smart black pants and he kept wooing his audience with long chats acted out from the front of the stage where he sat, legs dangling, and talked intimately to the ones in the front row who were snake-charmed by him to the point of oblivion. In the intermission before the Encore that night he entered the dressing room, happily humming a nursery rhyme.

“Lapping it up, lapping it up,” he crooned while she arranged his hair and put a spot of rouge on his cheeks.

She learned to bring along all her stuff. There was no relying on, if a chosen concept would be operable the next night. It was as if Julian delighted in teasing them all to stand in attention to his next whims. She could almost picture him there in his hotel room at nights, planning for the next show.

Eva thought that she would grow tired of watching the show but on the contrary; the more she watched the more interested, excited and exhilarated she got. She realized that he changed his presentation of a song to suit the present mood. Thus, “Slaughterhouse” could be extremely sexy and explicit as when she first viewed and heard it, but also viciously cold and evil as on other nights. “Finding You” could sound a bit sad and sweet but also be done as a very mournful ballad. “Rosary Mornings” was at times delicate and weird — with Klaus going through the roof on his guitar and Rupert painting the background in cloudy silver — and on other occasions it came forth as oddly sinister. Eva never stopped marveling over how Julian brought out different aspects of the song for each mood he chose to interpret it in. Seeing so much of him as she really did, also gave her a perspective on the man which she hadn’t had before. She began to realize what a true artist he was and what a thoroughly genuine professional. He never missed out on what was to gain from a certain situation or an impromptu happening; he took it all in the stride. All the same his extraordinary instinct in this field also prompted him to demand the utmost of his collaborators. He wanted them to be not more than one step behind.

For Eva this meant that she had to sound him off each time she met him, not knowing “who” would be there to meet. Thus, she lived in a perpetual emotional field of high voltage. There were nights when he was accessible and interested in what she was doing, asking endless questions both about her person and her work. He made her laugh, and he put her off at the same time. Sometimes she got angry with him for using this kind of switch in his approach to her. She didn’t want any other kind of relationship to him than the professional. Yet he tried treacherously and constantly to find the crack in her armor and make her lose her balance. Eva wondered why he felt compelled to do so, but of course she didn’t ask; that would have been admitting that she had an interest in him beyond her work.

It happened also that he was in a terrible or difficult mood. Eva had to use all her skill, instinct and persuasion to save such a situation. She had around an hour to make him ready for stage, literally, and at times that meant in the mind too. She worked on him in silence, looking at his stern face and clenched mouth. She took care to prolong the initial scalp massage on such nights and often that did the trick. As if the touch of her hands in this soothing way, was the only remedy for whatever ate him up from the inside. More than once she was rewarded in seeing how he relaxed and how his face cleared before her eyes. She could venture to start in some small talk then, to ease up the situation further. Otherwise, she always let him decided whether they should talk or not.

All the same, sometimes it seemed beyond repair, so to speak. Then the inevitable moment happened. The one that couldn’t have been anticipated after all.

One night — they were playing St. Louis in Missouri, slowly working their way over the continent towards the West Coast — when Eva was on her way to the dressing room area, she heard loud angry voices already in the stairs, and when she entered the corridor she saw them all out there, shouting at each other at the same time, Julian, the musicians and Maryka in the background, trying in vain to pour oil on the troubled waters.

“I don’t want to DO this SHIT tonight! I didn’t put the list together like this…”

“So what DO you want to play tonight then? — You have to let us know! There is just an hour to stage. I want to have some inkling…

“Come on everyone, there must have been a slight mistake, we must be able to come to an understanding, please let’s be sensible…”

The last sentence again from Maryka, trying to calm everyone down.

Eva remained standing at the entrance in silence, waiting for the outcome, the minutes ticking by. Finally, they all moved upstairs to the big board where tonight’s set-list was posted, and Julian started in fury to erase songs and putting up other choices instead. Steven made equally furious notes on a piece of paper. The air was charged with electricity to the point where one could almost smell it. At last Julian was done. He threw the pen down on the nearby table and went downstairs to his room, and Eva followed him hesitantly. Well inside he went up to the mirror, his back towards her. She put her things down and went for the towel.

“I don’t want any head massage today,” he said through clenched teeth. As if he couldn’t bear to be touched.

“OK,” she answered, “fair enough. Could you please sit down in front of the mirror?”

He turned around and faced her, his anger still visible in his face.

“What does it take to make you crack? You’re like a porcelain doll or something!”

“Why would you want me to crack up? What purpose on earth would that serve?” And for the first time there was a hint of passion in her voice too.

He smiled then for the first time during the night, as if he had gained a point, looking like a street-urchin who had managed to snatch a wallet from a passing customer. Then he slumped into the chair and she moved in front of him, up between his legs to come close to his face, but before she had time to apply the foundation she had on her fingers already, he caught her hand in mid-air in a tight and close grip. She reacted instinctively, trying to withdraw, but he flexed the muscles in his thighs, trapping her this way too, and Eva felt her heart starting to beat violently.

“Let me go!” she whispered, still calm.

“You’re a dangerous one,” he replied, savoring the words with relish, smiling now, almost softly, with gleaming, steely eyes.

“I thought that danger spelt J-U-L-I-A-N," she retorted and felt him relax as he let go of her. “Now, will you PLEASE sit still until I’m finished, or you will be VERY late for your opening number.”

He snickered smugly and closed his eyes and let her begin with her work without any further interruptions.

The show which followed was something out of this world. It was as if the charge of the conflict had transformed itself into energy which they brought onto the stage. The audience seemed to feel that too. The response was massive. Halfway into the second hour, Julian all of a sudden stripped on stage. He tore off his T-shirt and threw it behind him and moved up to the front in the glaring lime lights, exposing his bare chest to the crowd below which went absolutely wild. Eva had never seen anything like it. They surged forward in a movement in unison and a roar rose from them. Eva saw several people who fainted and had to be carried off the premises. Julian grabbed a guitar and started on “Pretending To Love You” and the crowd groaned in response. The next number, “Slaughterhouse," was an act of shared intercourse. He thrust his pelvis forward and touched his sex and the audience responded with a deep sigh.

When it was time for intermission before the Encore, she was waiting for them in the corridor outside the rooms, and she heard them on their way down, screaming, hollering, laughing, up somewhere so high that she didn’t know what was needed to take them down again. All the earlier quarreling was forgotten and transferred into wild elation. Then in an instant they were there, all around her, and she became confused and caught in the wild sensation, swept away by their feelings. In the middle of it all she felt Julian grab her hand, not hard or powerfully this time but with a kind of possessiveness and urgency which she couldn’t resist. He put her hand against his sweat-drenched chest and held it there.

“It’s swelteringly hot our there tonight — feel it!”

He held her hand against his skin for a fraction of a second too long. She noticed it, but she didn’t withdraw this time, and she saw that he took it in. She also saw from the corner of her eyes that Maryka, who was also present, made a note of that moment of eternity. Then he let go of her, and they all rushed into their dressing rooms. Eva followed Julian and they went hastily about their business. Not a word was uttered on the incidents of the evening. They worked quickly and efficiently, and soon he was out again on the stage — this time to soothe them all with one of his greatest ballads “Love is Bondage.” Eva realized that she couldn’t keep from being influenced too; tears filled her eyes when he sang, and she saw many in the audience weep openly. He ended the show with another extremely moving and powerful song “Let It Come." And the audience didn’t want to let go of him, they roared and stamped and shouted until he appeared for one last time and finished off with a magnificent “Standing Alone." Then it was finally over. This night Eva didn’t want to join in any After-Show celebration although everyone tugged at her and tempted her. She was so upset deep down inside that she needed space and time for herself. She wanted to get away from it all. Rushing through the corridors, she came face to face with Maryka and met the gaze of the other woman for a short moment. She could see that Maryka looked at her with searching, weary eyes, looking for answers in Eva’s face. Yet Eva hastened on, not wanting to engage in any sort of confrontation. Soon she was back at her hotel and fell exhausted on the bed. A while later she was fit enough to go in the shower and let the water wash all the tensions away. Wanting to see if Granny had made contact today, she switched on her mobile phone. Granny hadn’t, but another message popped up, and she saw with great surprise that it was from Julian.

“Forgive me for tonight” he wrote. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I don’t always know why I have to let all my aggressions out. I’ll be a docile lamb tomorrow, I promise. Sleep well! Julian”.

So… He had taken care to find out about her private phone number. She mused a long time over if she should answer or not, but in the end she couldn’t refrain from doing so. She searched the net for a temptingly funny picture of a Black Sheep, and that she sent along to him. Without any further remarks. Then bed. Then sleep.

**********

Next night — the second show in St. Louis — when she was to meet him again, the dressing room area was as quiet as an Egyptian tomb. No person was to be seen in the corridor, no noises disturbed the peace. Julian was sitting in his chair in front of the mirror quietly smoking a cigarette and reading St. Louis’s daily papers, most likely to catch up with the latest reviews, and they were stupendous. Eva could find no other word. It was as if a small earthquake had made the entertainment business tremble at its fundament when perceiving the news of a half-naked Julian Woolfe on stage before some 50,000 spectators in St. Louis last night. The news had traveled with the speed of lightning of course. Also the local TV channels had hooked on with pictures and news reels. Eva realized that all shows from now on would be sold out, even if no one knew whether he was going to give a repeat performance or not. Most likely he would, but when and where was in the stars. If by any chance he had understood the implications of last night — and Eva wouldn't put it past him at all — this was the ultimate promotion for the present tour. He would need no other advertising in any media. She approached him and put her things down on the floor behind his chair. She could feel, without analyzing the situation, that there was no tension in the air today. Then she turned to the table beneath the mirror to put up the things she would need for this night, and there, amongst brushes, bottles, ashtrays and papers stood a fluffy, woolly black sheep and looked at her with a singularly, innocently dumb expression. She stopped in her tracks and burst out into an uncontrollable fit of laughter, and she could hear him chuckle deep down in his throat behind her. She picked up the toy and buried her nose in the fine fur. Then she turned around impulsively, bent down over him and kissed him briefly and lightly on the cheek. She met his eyes, still glittering with laughter, but in them she could also still see the shadow of the wolf, kept at bay tonight. But as he had promised, he was docile as a lamb the whole evening and no incidents marred the night’s performance.

**********

The rest of the tour towards the West Coast was rather uneventful. Everyone was out to perfect his or her own role and part in the common performance, and there was a lot of work involved. Happily enough traveling between places also meant a day or two off, and Eva felt that it was needed. When reaching San Francisco which was to be the first stop for the major shows in the area, Julian took a break for a week and went back to New York to take care of some personal business and to rest for a bit. Maryka went with him. Two shows were planned for San Francisco and later on three were to take place in Los Angeles. These shows were to be the final performances on American ground and a signal that the whole troupe was to leave for the East. With Julian gone, the whole scene changed in a way. The charge, the force, the impetus that kept driving them all along, was gone and a kind of lull settled over the whole group. Some relaxed totally and others found other things to do. They were in the home town of Daren Ndolo, and he invited his band compadres to his home for a barbeque, a long jam session and a general West Coast get-together. Eva was among the invited too, and she felt greatly exhilarated by the prospect.

Daren’s house overlooked the bay and the bridge, and he had a breathtaking view from up there. Close to his house, he had his studio located and seeing all this gave a kind of perspective on him to Eva. None of the “boys in the band” were in the show for just fun and laughs. They had been chosen because they were top musicians in their particular field and on their special instrument. This tour was perhaps only a stepping stone in their further careers. While the professionals inspected the studio and marveled over the latest technique in there, Eva went around the beautiful garden, said hello to Daren’s lovely wife and helped carry food and other necessary things out to the tables, close to the grill. Daren had invited several of his local friends too, and Eva eventually found herself in lively discussions with other guests. Now and then came furtive questions which she tried to avoid in the most delicate manner. Even before this night and this special occasion, it had occurred to her that living in the shadow of Julian Woolfe also meant that some of his fame had rubbed off on all of them. All of a sudden she was a “someone.” Someone who had exclusive access to a super star, and the seemingly innocent questions could be mined territory. She could almost see the fat headlines in front of her inner eye. “Makeup artist tells it all! Read about the most intimate details in Julian Woolfe’s life and what is going on in his dressing room at nights before the gig!” She shuddered lightly and kept her mouth shut or evaded the questions with a skill which an experienced ambassador would envy her. Apart from this, Eva enjoyed herself and felt free for the first time in months.

Some time after midnight, when the music had started and the ambiance was great and Eva had perhaps had just a tiny bit too much to drink, she dared up to Daren who stood behind the counter in his garden bar. He was in deep and animated conversation with a person who Eva later was to know as a music journalist for one of San Francisco’s larger newspapers. She put a hand on Daren’s arm when there seemed to be a lull in their conversation.

“Daren,” she said, “I’ve always sooo much wanted to paint your face. I know exactly what I would like to do with it. What do you say? Would you agree to be my model for half an hour? And look like an African work of art afterwards? I know, I know! You don’t have to tell me; you ARE an African work of art already, but I can enhance you a bit.” Daren burst out into laughter and slapped the counter with his two hands.

“Lady,” he beamed, “I’m all yours! Wow! I feel so honored!”

And so it happened that the party came to a standstill for a moment and in the lights from the light-ramp, which was brought out into the garden, Eva started to work on Daren. He sat obediently still on a chair in front of her while she applied colors and patterns to his face from the small set of tubes she always carried along as a kind of emergency kit for quick repairs. A dramatic face took form in front of everyone’s eyes. Daren stopped being Daren and became a live African “Picasso” idea of a Nigerian king. It was rather immense. Eva was aware of people taking pictures because the flashlights beamed in the air and sometimes blinded her. A spontaneous applause broke out when she had finished, and they were asked to pose for a picture in one of the newspapers too. Daren didn’t want to wipe the mask off but instead brought the band together for music, and they played until the early morning hours.

The next day Eva found herself in the newspapers for the first time in her life — among the headlines even — in the section for news on entertainment. It was mentioned that both she and Daren were on tour together with Julian Woolfe and in what capacity. It was a very strange sensation to look at one’s own picture in the papers and read what was supposed to have been said during an interview. She got an idea of how the reporters worked, and she was again immensely thankful for that she had refused to even let Julian’s name slip over her tongue last night. They had not been able to quote her on that subject.

**********

Soon Julian was back with his troupe in San Francisco and the ignition was on, so to speak. He made a point of assembling them all at the hotel where the better part of them was booked for the stay. Together with Maryka he made a recap of the last months and started to talk of what waited for them after Los Angeles. He made a brief description of the Asian tour and the ports of call, and Maryka outlined some practical details and gave advice of a basic kind on how to meet the East for those who had not been there before. She asked all of them to look over their own necessary items, like valid pass ports, vaccination cards, medicines and other stuff of vital importance. They finished with asking anyone in the group who had second thoughts about leaving the States for the other side of the Ocean, to approach them now — when there was still a week to takeoff — and discuss any problem they might have about this development of the tour. Next week, it would surely be too late.

Eva took part of the information but didn’t feel that it really addressed her. She had her papers in order; and although she hadn’t visited the East in person herself, she felt that she was prepared in a good way. Instead she concentrated on the appointment for the evening. There wasn’t a concert on the program, but a TV-show where two songs would be performed on each side of an interview. It was going to be an official but also an intimate meeting as the TV-company had suggested in their mails. It was to be hosted by one of their most renowned talk show hosts, Adrian Linklater. As always, Maryka had sent a memorandum around to the TV-station, listing the kind of questions Julian did not want to be featured in the show and which he wouldn’t answer to. Eva saw to that she was on the premises in good time in advance, a bit curious too over how this TV-station was running and who worked there. She was met like a small celebrity herself and showed to the room, set aside for Julian, where she would make him ready for the evening. She went around the studio for a bit to make herself acquainted with it, to find out of how the lightning worked there and from what angle he was to be shot and all these little details. On her way back to the dressing room, she heard that Julian had arrived with the band and soon she met up with him. She could immediately tell that he was in an irritated, apprehensive and generally bad mood. A bad start for the evening, if there were ever one. He looked happy enough though to see her and greeted her, trying hard not to take his bad mood out on her.

“I’ve seen you in the papers, doll!” he called out to her and grinned at her obvious embarrassment. “I like what you did to Daren’s face, qualified work! I might even consider you to do me up one night in this manner, if I choose an approach to the night as a whole where it would be fitting.”

Coming from Julian this was indeed high praise and, as always, he also saw the purely economic potential in this particular work of art. He never missed out on that point. Eva had learned that over the months.

“So! If I may GRACIOUSLY ask the REVERED artist to consider lavishing a bit of attention on my humble face, I would grovel in the dust for you!” he continued to tease her.

“Oh! Stop it!” she fumed to his obvious delight.

Yet his pleasantries could not conceal his basic nervousness, and Eva had to tread warily around him so as not to trigger that eruption which wasn’t far beyond the surface. So, what had happened to bring him into such a bad mood? Something in New York maybe? Eva hadn’t heard any rumors though and those usually traveled fast.

When Julian went on-stage together with the band, Eva watched from the wings where she could see them live. She could also watch them on the several monitors, available in plenty all around the back office to the studio. She had taken care tonight to do a careful and rather soft makeup, which would be suited to the TV media; hardly any accentuation at all and only just a hint of eye-shadow to enhance his eyes. Eva was pleased with the result. She didn’t really pay attention closely to what happened up on the studio floor. She was just enjoying the music and thinking of what to do afterwards, when she was suddenly alerted to the interview which was to be the main attraction between the songs. By now she knew Julian so well that she immediately detected the note of rising irritation in his voice, although he took care to hide it as best as he could. She also heard a kind of insisting tone in the voice of the talk show host, Adrian Linklater. As if he kept repeating a question that Julian, now laughing, refused to answer. Eva went up closer to one of the monitors to see if she could catch what the issue was about. She could now see that Linklater had a TV screen on stage and there he was showing a picture, most likely taken by a paparazzo, of Julian and a woman that Eva knew had figured closely in his life before this tour. They were on their way into a restaurant in what must be New York. Was it something that had happened during the week he had been away? She heard Linklater say: “But you can’t very well deny, my dear Julian, that this beautiful lady STILL plays a part in your life. This was taken last week…” Eva paled when she heard it. What a total outrage! She knew that all which concerned Julian’s very private life was a No, No in any interview. How on earth could that have slipped the studio people on this station? She heard Julian not really answering but saying something like ALL beautiful women STILL played a great role in his life — he loved them all — and now he and the band were here to give a great performance, so let’s go along and play some music… And before anyone could say another word, he got his band going and started off on “You Have Taught Me A Lesson” — an intricate and treacherously innocent song, glittering on the surface of an abyss. When that was done, he smiled and said profuse good-byes and backed off the stage and went directly to the dressing room.

There he stood with his back towards the room when Eva entered. She closed the door behind her and waited indecisively for a moment, not knowing if she were to leave or stay. He was smoking a cigarette, sucking furiously at it, and he didn’t move at first.

Then he slammed his fists into the window pane with great violence. He could have broken the glass, had he not been careful. Eva gave a start and looked in alarm at his tense back.

“The bloody, dirty bastards! I wonder what they had to pay for that picture. It must have cost them a fortune. I hope is did cost them a filthy fortune!”

“I don’t mind really on my own behalf…”he continued with passion but checked himself and didn’t finish the sentence.

“It’s no big deal,” he said at last, getting his breathing under control. “It’s just the principle you know. I have to have a word with Maryka about it. She is supposed to see to that these things don’t happen. So, I want to know why it slipped today. If they ignored a contract between us where all this is supposed to be in print, well, then we can of course sue them for a couple of thousands, but the question is whether it’s worth it or not. The process which will follow might cost too much in publicity anyway. I don’t know.”

He was weary now rather than angry, and it was as if he were talking both to himself and her. She understood in a flash all the implications of being an icon and a super star. From the moment the Midas Cup was handed to him he had had to fight for every inch of privacy which he wanted to maintain in his life.

“Julian,” she ventured cautiously, “I understand that this is a price to pay. And I guess it’s a decision you once had to make. Don’t fight these minions; they don’t really deserve your attention. Just ignore them, step over them and past them. But I guess I needn’t tell you that. I guess that you found that out, so long ago.”

She fell silent; and when he still didn’t move, she started to pick up her things to prepare to leave. Then he turned around and faced her.

“You know,” he said — and his face had taken on an almost contemplative expression — “this is the first time that you address Julian the person and not Julian the star or the employer.”

She hesitated with her hand on the doorknob.

“There is a first for everything,” she answered in a low voice.

And they looked at each other in silence for several seconds which were much too long, before she quietly slipped out of the room.

**********

After the incident in San Francisco, Julian went wild. It was as if he had drawn a plug somewhere. Had he been a reclusive before, all that changed in Los Angeles. He went out on town, he went to official parties, he figured in the press every day with different beautiful girls hanging on his arms or in his tow. In Los Angeles he repeated the strip performance in a live concert to a screaming audience which broke barriers, caused a riot and triggered a massive police force to take action. When that concert was finished and he was about to leave the arena, he went over to the barrier and the screaming fans instead of retreating into the waiting limousine and started to sign autographs. Eva, who stood together with Klaus and Steven outside the crew entrance, looked at the scene with fascination. She also threw a glance over to the other side where she could see Maryka waiting beside the car, the smile on the lips of the other woman getting increasingly constrained and artificial. Klaus shook his head, and Steven grinned and bent down to Eva.

“This is nothing!” he breathed in her ear. “Wait until we get to all these weird little places over there in the East - then the REAL fun will begin!”

Klaus looked over his shoulder to establish contact with Rupert and Daren who were on their way. Daren was accompanied by his wife this time. They also caught Bo before he drifted off into the LA night and proceeded to get hold of a couple of taxis. The tumult over at the barrier had caused the police to concentrate their efforts around Julian to save him from being totally molested, and in the clearing which the police had left open, a group of girls had managed to crawl over and under the fences. They were now heading for the band and the taxis, screaming happily and demanding autographs from the musicians too. In the general din, someone even thrust a piece of paper up in Eva’s face which she signed dutifully, feeling unreal now. She felt Steven grabbing hold of her arm, and he practically pushed her into the waiting car which had already started to move down the slope towards the center of the city.

Daren, who knew his way around Los Angeles as intimately as San Francisco, directed them towards a small place in the harbor area. It was blissfully peaceful in there when they entered, and Eva took a deep breath. Daren approached the owner who came to meet them, and they slapped each other’s shoulders and exchanged greetings. Daren then asked if the inner room was free this night and got a positive answer. He then ushered his party through a small opening which was separated from the general area only by a pearl drapery. While at the same time letting the guests behind it take part of what happened out in the bar, it yet provided privacy for those in the inner room.

While beer, tequila and nachos where ordered and served, Klaus had started to finger his guitar in a melancholy Latin tune.

“Come on Schiller, dude,” Steven called softly, “let it rest for a while, at least have a shot of tequila before having a go at that one again.”

“Mmmmm… I got so inspired,” Klaus mused but put his instrument down for a while.

The lights were low in there, and Eva felt that she started to relax. The last days had been so tense and hectic. Not that Julian had troubled her in person, but since his mood was so unpredictable for the moment, she was on her toes the moment she was close to him. Steven thrust a glass of tequila in her hand, and she decided to try it. Why not? This would be as good a night as any. The fiery liquid burned her lips and tongue, and she couldn’t help coughing. They laughed at her like schoolboys having gotten away with a good trick.

“A lot in initiation for you on this journey, ain’t it?” Daren guffawed. His wife Bella slapped him on the hand and turned to Eva.

“Don’t mind the buggers; just let them know when enough is enough!”

An hour later the general mood was mellow. They had started to play and more food and drink were carried to their table when a small commotion out in the bar, made Eva apprehensive. Before she knew it, Julian stood in the entrance to the inner room, framed by the glimmering beads in the drapery. She quickly looked around. She could see that Bo, Rupert and Klaus looked genuinely surprised but Steven flashed a smile towards the man in the door, pulled himself out of the chair and extended a hand towards Julian.

“Would you mind or am I crashing your party?” Julian asked sweetly enough.

“C’mon on in, plenty of room here,” Steven answered coolly and another chair was brought up to the table.

Julian sat down just opposite Eva. When he caught sight of her, a soft smile hovered over his lips and his steely eyes glimmered just faintly in the low light. Eva looked him into the eyes in return and wondered wildly how he had found his way here, unless someone had told him where to find them. Yet he wasn’t going to reveal any secrets tonight; she could see that in his eyes. He had some beer and liquor too and lent back on the chair and drew a deep sigh. He whispered something in Steven’s ear, and Steven nodded in agreement. Daren introduced his wife to Julian who was full of suave chivalry during the greetings. Eva couldn’t help smiling. It was in a way so fun seeing how he could switch on whatever person he wanted and needed for any situation, but of course at the same time that notion was a very disquieting one too.

Julian borrowed Klaus’ spare guitar and joined in on the music which was a classical blues now, and Eva didn’t know its name, only that it was most fitting for the night and the mood.

An hour later Eva went to the rest rooms and to reach them she had to go out through the main bar. Being two in the morning, it was rather quiet in there. There were a couple of tables occupied over in a corner with a similar party going on as on their side and only two new customers at the bar desk. Well, perhaps not so new after all. Eva recognized Julian’s two bodyguards. They looked very noncommittal — if that now was a better word to describe it, than bored. Eva smiled as she slipped by them. Happy with that she didn’t need that kind of protection in her life.

At three in the morning they thought it would be time to quit finally. There was after all a show which was going to happen later on this night, even if it was still far away. It wasn’t going to be an arena show this time but a smaller session at the very famous Wiltern Theater in Los Angeles. It would only fit some 2,000 spectators, and the tickets had been sold out already a year ago within an hour after they were released. As they rose from the table, Julian went over to Steven.

“New playing ground this night. Rehearsals to begin at three sharp in the Wiltern. OK?”

Steven nodded and went about ordering taxis. They got one car to start with and were told that they would have to wait for the second for a while.

“I can take Eva in my car,” Julian said, and before she had time to give her opinion on this decision, he had taken her arm in a firm yet gentle grip. She found that she couldn’t make herself free without starting a scene in there, and that was the last thing she wanted. So she followed him out, seemingly obedient, into the quiet dark-blue night. The bodyguards had brought the car to the entrance and followed him out. Eva looked at the sumptuous vehicle with its black windows. It looked enormously sinister, and she felt like being swallowed up by an unknown entity, entering inside it. It carried a very discreet luxury with grey soft leather; a kind of bolstered seats, which one sank through rather than sat on. Looking through the darkened glass from the inside, Eva realized that she could look out, but no one could look in — that was the idea. The two guards went into the front of the car, and Julian slid shut the glass-pane which divided the front from the back of the car. Eva wondered if this was the same kind of glass — see-through from one side and oblique from the other — and when she asked Julian about it, he merely nodded. Then he settled over in one corner of the spacious back seat and stretched out his long legs, his face hidden in the semi shadows. Eva fell back against the seat and felt a kind of vertigo. It had been such a long day, not to mention the night. Yes, she had also had one tequila too many. She hoped she would at least get some hours of sleep before the next night dawned on her.

“So, my Little Red Riding Hood, how do you fancy your tour so far? Is it all that you expected?” he asked from over at his corner.

Eva turned her head towards the Woolfe sitting there, so close to her and yet so far away.

“Yeah, I think so,” she smiled, “I do fancy what I’m experiencing, but it is not at all what I expected. It is something very, very different.”

“I’m going to kiss you,” he said and his voice was very cool and low. “That is what one is expected to do in the back seat of a car. And I want to very much.”

And before she had time to protest and say that she definitely NOT was the kind of girl who kissed ANYONE in the back seat of a car, he had leaned forward and reached out for her. He drew her into a tight embrace and looked down into her face where her dark blue eyes, now wide-open, met his gaze. She was grave now and pale, and her lips started to tremble before he bent down over her and covered her mouth with his; hot, demanding, devouring lips closed over hers and sucked at her mouth almost viciously before letting go. He drew his head back a bit to look at her face again, taking in her shocked expression and her now half-open lips, glistening from the kiss. Then he sought her again, licking the contours of her mouth, meeting her tongue with his, biting her. She grabbed hold of the collar of his jacket to steady herself because the world was turning around so fast. She wanted to end this awful, sweet and intoxicating moment because she didn’t know how she would face what was to happen when it was over. She prayed wildly for that they would soon reach her hotel. She prayed for that he would remain silent, so that she could pretend that this was a dream and that it had never happened. He threw his head back and hugged her even closer, stealing a hand down to one of her soft breasts. His touch made her go shakingly weak, and she started to tremble in his arms. Then she heard the brakes of the car go into motion and realized that they were slowing down. The little loudspeaker, which connected the front of the car to the back, clicked and a voice announced the name of her hotel. She managed to disengage herself from him and looked at his hooded eyes and soft mouth, still wet from the kiss. She got an almost sinking feeling to her stomach and wondered how she would manage to get out of the car and into the hotel without help. He bent his head a little and looked steadily at her. There were both mockery and passion in his face, and something unfathomable which she dared not even try to understand or put a name to.

“So, there is after all a crack in that armor of yours,” he whispered softly as she backed out of the car. “See you later tonight, Red!”

**********

When Eva woke up in her hotel room around ten in the morning, she felt weak and disheveled somehow, as if getting out of bed would be the hardest thing she had done in all her life. She had hoped for that last night — or rather this early morning — would be shrouded in clouds of forgetfulness, but unhappily it wasn’t so. She stopped in front of the mirror and looked vacantly at herself, not really seeing the image at all. She remembered every detail of his burning kiss, and when she did she felt faint again and wondered dismally what she should do. She didn’t WANT their relationship to change, she didn’t WANT to be anything but his employee, she didn’t WANT to fall in love with him.

“Let’s hope that he was more drunk than me," she muttered to herself. “Maybe his memory is a bit hazy concerning this morning. I will be very businesslike when I meet him today. I won’t arrive too early, giving us any time for discussions.”

“By the way,” she continued her line of reasoning with herself after a brief pause and now turning directly to her pale mirror-image. “Maybe you’re painting the devil on the wall. Maybe it’s conceited even to think that this is an issue. Maybe he kisses all women he takes into that car. Why would you be so special?”

During the morning and early afternoon, she repeated it all like a mantra.

**********

Eva arrived at the Wiltern around eight in the evening. Tonight he would be the only one on stage, and the show was to begin at nine. She found her way to the dressing room area behind the stage in this beautiful and graceful building. She loved being here. It really had a great atmosphere. She had taken a taxi to the theater which she shared with Maryka, and however much she wanted to engage in small talk she found it impossible. There was the most icy silence in the car. Eva was totally certain of that Maryka knew that Julian had been out last night in the company of the band and herself, and that Maryka was dying to know what had happened, yet she couldn’t bear asking any questions. Eva absolutely refused to enter Julian’s premises tonight in the company of Maryka. Therefore, she invented a pretext of wanting to survey the theater before going to Julian and gave Maryka the possibility of seeing him alone for at least fifteen minutes. When Eva finally stood by his door, she heard them talking in there and she made a point of making quite a loud entrance to warn them of her arrival, should they be engaged in any sensitive discussion. When Eva entered Maryka left, ostensibly.

Julian greeted her with the same bland pleasantness as usual. In no way did he indicate that what had happened this early morning had any bearing on their future relationship. Eva was both relieved and disappointed to start with, but she soon realized that he was as aware of the major change which had taken place as she was. She caught him looking at her when he thought that she had her mind on other things, and it was a look of scrutinizing and intense interest. Her inside was a turmoil, and she didn’t know how to deal with her feelings, yet she tried to remain as calm on the outside as possible. She felt that she was angry too. Why had he spoilt what they had built between them? They needed to trust each other for this job to be done, and he had changed that balance. The bloody bastard! Who did he think he was? And who did he think SHE was? Maybe one of his many groupies perhaps? Who would swoon and accept anything for the glory of being kissed by their super star? Well, he was in for something then. She wasn’t anyone to be picked up at random and used as a toy. The mere thought made her cheeks flush.

Eva had set her whole array of bottles and brushes on the table and started working with the tools with speed and under total silence. She worked up the shadows under his prominent cheekbones to make his face appear even thinner than it was. She accentuated his eyebrows and chose an eye makeup to suit the color he was wearing for the evening. She marked his mouth so that it would be visible far out in the crowd waiting for him now and accentuated his nostrils for the same reason. By now he had closed his eyes and almost seemed to doze a bit, but she wasn’t fooled by that. To be able to get the best possible access to his face, she had moved in between his legs, and she could feel the muscles in his thighs, hard and knotted, ready for a leap. He was preparing to launch himself on the stage; to capture and conquer it.

She had finished with his face and she prepared to move around him to start with his hair. However, before she had time to withdraw fully, he opened his eyes and stretched out at hand, casually touching her hip. She moved away with just the tiniest movement, barely visible to the eye, and raised her eyebrows in a silent question.

“Will you be watching tonight? I’ve reserved a special area close to the stage at the left hand side and there is room among the other guests,” he said.

She had now moved behind him with her brushes and spray.

“Thanks," she said. “Don’t know though. I usually watch the show together with Martin and I haven’t decided with him about this evening. I’ll ask him. Is he also welcome to join, if so?”

And for the first time during the evening they looked into each other’s eyes in the mirror in front of him.

“No,” he answered flatly.

“Oh well, why?” she asked as color started to flush her cheeks.

“If I invite Martin, I’d have to invite all the other roadies too, and you know that this is impossible. Well, shall I issue a pass for you?”

She felt furious now and yet she wanted so much to watch this particular show, and in the end she surrendered and hated herself for it.

“Yes, please,” she murmured. And she saw him smirk a little as he picked up a cell phone and ordered a pass for her.

When she was finished with him, he rose from the chair to survey the costume for the evening. It was smart and very elegant made out of the subtlest material which shimmered when he moved. It was in dark silver, and to match it he had chosen a black shirt. As she didn’t want to be present when he changed, she started hastily to pick up her things and put them back in the suitcase. When she straightened up he was suddenly there in front of her, his face close to hers. He touched her chin lightly and subtly forced her to raise her face to him. Then he let his long, slender fingers caress her cheeks, ever so lightly.

“OK Riding Hood, off you go. Enjoy the show.”

He looked fully at her with mocking and soft amusement and she vibrated inside yearning for the next touch, hatred because she let him run the show and confusion over the violence in her feelings. She also knew that he took it all in, before he released her and let her run out of the room.

When Eva turned up among Julian’s specially invited friends in the theater that night, Maryka turned around from the party she was addressing and stopped talking for a second or two. Eva thought that Maryka looked as if she were on her way over to make a comment. Then Maryka evidently spotted the pass card in Eva’s hand and as quickly as she had turned, she swirled back toward her company, presenting an apprehensive back to Eva. Eva couldn’t care less. The only thing she worried about was ending up on the wrong side of the fence with this lady. She couldn’t really afford that.

It was a marvelous concert, and Eva especially enjoyed the smaller and more intimate setting. The songs seemed yet again to come out differently. She heard talk around her of some sort of reception or party which was going to take place after the show, an occasion where she wouldn’t turn up. Above all, Julian hadn’t mentioned any such reception to her or included a note about it on the pass which she had received. Secondly, tomorrow they would be flying to Tokyo, a journey which would last all day, and she realized that she needed as much sleep as possible. So, when the last song was about to finish and the public was already standing up and stamping on the floor making the whole room vibrate, Eva quietly stole out of the theater and hailed a cab to get back to the hotel.

She wanted to get into contact with Granny — or at least send a message to her — before leaving for the East. She had faithfully told Granny of all her experiences during the tour so far — except for last night, and she wasn’t going to trouble Granny with this incident. It was to be her guilty secret. Back in her hotel room she curled up in the bed and switched on her phone. There was indeed a message from Granny, and she felt happy and light of heart when reading it. Granny told about all the things happening on the farm, now in the autumn. Granny’s vivid account of every little detail in the quiet life stood out before Eva’s eyes in all its glory, and she relished being able to take part in all these so familiar things, reminding her of that she had a home to go to, if she ever needed one. There were a couple of messages from friends too. While she was in the process of reading, one more message popped in. She saw that it was from Julian. Her heart made a leap inside, and she looked at it for a long, long time. She threw a glance at her watch. Was he still in the theater, dressing for the party? Or had he skipped the whole thing? But he couldn’t well do that? Could he? She opened the message at last.

“This place overlooking the whole of the glittering city of angles,” he wrote, “has all the facilities in the world — among them a set of portable comps in the library to use at one’s liberty — so I thought I couldn’t miss out on sending a mess to you. It seems I forgot to tell you about the party after the show — I’m always expecting people to know all these details in advance and/or I’m getting to be frightfully forgetful these days. (Mea Culpa!) Be how it may, I guess you are a wise girl who has gone to bed in view of tomorrow’s ordeal.

See you, Red, under the Sakura trees!

Oyasumi!

(and I’ll save you looking it up in Google; it means Good Night!) ;-)

Julian”

She looked at the message for a long time, and her mouth was all dry. What on earth was she going to do with this dangerously fascinating man who was stealing into her life and wouldn’t take no for an answer? What did he want from her? She wished intensely that Granny was here with her for comfort and for answering all her weary questions. On that note, and tightly clutching her black sheep to her bosom, she fell into a troubled sleep at last.

**********

Yes, it was a very, very long journey and so tiresome. Eva had never made that flight over the Ocean, and although it took place in a Jumbo it felt crowded and claustrophobic. She didn’t see Julian at all during the long trip. He traveled in the VIP section of course while she was in economy class. She shared a seat for four with Steven, Klaus and Daren. Rupert and Bo were on the seats across the aisle. Somewhere halfway, perhaps above Hawaii, she lost count of how many films they had shown and how many meals which had been served and she fell into a brief sleep. Steven nudged here a bit later and grinned in her face when she peered at him.

“We’ve just crossed the dateline and we’ve lost a whole day!”

“Oh, Steven, come on, was that something to wake me up for,” but she laughed nonetheless.

Now she couldn’t go back to sleep. There were still several hours to go before reaching their destination. Hours to kill and suffer through. The flight between Los Angeles and Tokyo took around twelve hours effectively. Yet as journeys go, this was of course just the basic price to pay. Added to it came the trip to and from the airports, the waiting to board and to move through check-ins, checkouts and customs. No doubt this would account for another six hours to be added to the actual flight, and perhaps that wasn’t enough. Before she had finally reached her hotel, she would have been traveling for close to twenty hours most likely. She was both tired and restless already. She knew she was traveling “with the sun” meaning that when she arrived in Tokyo, there wouldn’t be more than roughly five hours of difference if she looked at her watch. However, as Steven said she had lost a whole day in the wake of it. In Tokyo people would be starting to prepare for dinner or for an evening out. Her body would just want her to go to bed and sleep and sleep for hours. She was very happy with that no big concert was planned for the first two days, thus giving them time to catch up a bit. She knew though that on the second day there was a big press conference scheduled which was to be broadcasted in Japanese TV. She reckoned that she would have to be present and to do the makeup for this particular session. At least she would have one day off.

“Tell me Steven,” she said. “Have you been here many times before and were you together with Julian then?"

“Well,” he mused.”I think this must be my third hit in Tokyo — and yes — all in the company of Julian. You know, we’ve been playing together for over ten years now. More or less, anyway.”

“My God,” she ventured, “is it that long? I haven’t followed his career that closely. Has much changed? If you compare those days to now?”

“Of course things have changed in a way. We were younger then. And wilder I guess. Julian has also become much more of a business man over the years. Really taking care of the economical side of things. Being more careful too of his image, looking on that as an asset. But as far as the musical concept goes, I think he is pretty true to his original ideas.”

“Younger and wilder you say? Was it very … wild backstage in those days too?”

Steven grinned and looked at her from the side with amusement.

“Ah! You have that idea of the classical, “Sex, Drugs & Rock n’ Roll” setup in mind, do you? Well, of course there have been wild parties and wild moments backstage with Julian too, but mostly I think that was part of his early years way back in England. You shouldn’t compare him to any punk, metal or hip hop band where this is a part of the profile. I think he soon realized that should he stay on the scene he needed to take care of his personal life too. Madonna might have looked trashy on stage for example, but she spent a lot of time before performance in yoga to concentrate and to enhance her mind.”

“Drugs?” she cut in furtively.

“Yeah,” Steven stopped smiling. “Sure, that has been present, but not to the point of ruining a career. In this business you will soon have to make up your mind because drugs are the equal to perish. In the end one can’t survive a constant drug use and stay on top. Period.”

“But it is present in this troupe, isn’t it?” she persisted and threw a sidelong glance over the aisle in the direction of Bo Lassiter.

“Yeah,” Steven admitted with a sigh. “I fear so. And I’m worried over what might happen when we have come this far. Here in Asia everything — positively EVERYTHING — is available and it doesn’t cost a thing, at least not compared to the prices in the States or in Europe either for that matter.”

Their conversation was interrupted by the final “dinner” — or was it “lunch?" — to be served and Eva felt that the last stretch of the journey was close at hand; that they would soon be descending to move in on the Narita airport outside Tokyo.

Disembarking and going through customs was a nightmarishly long procedure, and Eva was happy that she had some company to rely on. She would soon have lost her nerve otherwise. She saw Julian for the first time during the whole journey. She saw him through a glass wall which separated the ordinary travelers from the VIPs. Maryka was with him as usual and they were met by TV and press for a short interview. Moving on in her endless line, Eva soon lost sight of him again. Finally, they were outside the building and on Japanese ground for the first time. A bus waited for them to take them to the hotel. The bus was marked with the logo of the tour so that no mistakes would be made, and their guide was all happy smiles and full of welcome in an array of languages. Eva wondered about Martin and the roadies a bit. They had gone in advance in a freight plane due to the size of all the equipment which would take a considerable time to clear through customs. If all were well, they should have arrived some eight hours ago. She looked at the huge city of Tokyo, spreading out before her eyes as they drove through the suburbs, and concluded that in a way it wasn’t so much different from New York. All townscapes virtually looked the same all over the world. It was only when entering the centers of the cities where remnants of older architecture and buildings could still be visible, where the differences would show up. Their hotel was situated close to the Budokan Dome where the big concerts were to take place, and Eva was happy for that. They were to occupy an entire floor high up in the building, and the view from the windows was spectacular to say the least. Yet, Eva fell on her bed and could have fallen asleep instantly hadn’t it been for the phone bringing her to the surface again. It was Steven calling her.

“Babe,” he said, “a piece of good advice. Sleep now for a couple of hours and then I’ll call you. Make sure that you will really get out of bed then. No matter how hard it feels. We will have a bite to eat — food and entertainment are a twenty-four-hour business in this town too —and it’s essential that we get into the rhythm as soon as poss! Is it OK with you?”

Eva smiled into the phone, and it transferred over into her voice too. “Steven, you’re a darling, what would I do without you?!”

She heard him snigger at the other end, and then she passed out on top of her bed.

**********

Not until Eva went to work in the TV-studio, the second day, did she realize that Julian and Maryka were staying at the same hotel this time. It was a surprise indeed. She had called the elevator to take her to the ground floor to ask the Front Desk to get a taxi for her, and when the elevator stopped and opened both Julian and Maryka were inside already. Eva lost her composure a bit and almost missed the ride down.

“Are you going to stay there, or are you to follow us down?” Julian asked pleasantly and she hurried inside, taking care to be especially charming in her hello to Maryka who had set her face in her perpetual “pleasant-smile-mask." Eva moved over to one of the corners of the cage and wished for that she could quickly and easily find something to talk about. Her tongue was tied though and she felt a great discomfort — as always when being in the company of Julian outside her professional area. Maryka looked equally uncomfortable, and the only one seemingly enjoying himself was Julian.

“I guess that we are all going to the same place? I suggest that you follow us in the car then. That will save time and money.”

No one contradicted him.

The lobby of the hotel was filled with TV- and press people who most likely were there on a twenty-four-hour basis so as not to miss any development during the stay of the star. The management of the hotel hurried to get the limousine ready when Julian and his party turned up. Accustomed as Julian was to dodge photo flashes, he didn’t look directly at the cameras but a bit beyond. Eva didn’t have that practice, and she was blinded for a moment by the fireworks, aimed for them. They were however quickly ushered into the waiting car, and yet again Eva found herself inside one in the company of Julian although this time they weren’t alone. Hopefully, she wouldn’t be subject to any new surprises during this short trip to the studio. However, with Julian one could never be sure. Innocently enough he placed himself in the middle of the long back seat which could easily harbor five people, thus having Maryka seated on one side and Eva on the other.

“Did you do anything pleasant in Tokyo yesterday, on the free day?”

Eva could hear that his voice bubbled of silent mirth, and she started to feel exasperated again. Why did he have to be such a dreadful tease?! Maryka looked out through the window on her side in a somewhat demonstrative way, realizing of course that the question wasn’t directed at her.

“Oh! Since this was my first time here, I thought that I should do the conventional thing and the easiest. I did one of them guided tours. That way I knew I wasn’t going to miss out on any important sight.”

“Wise choice!” He clicked his tongue lightly. And at that moment she could feel his hand steal down between their bodies and how he took hold of hers and held it in a gentle but steady grip, caressing the palm of her hand with his long, supple fingers. Her whole mind focused and concentrated on this particular spot, and she went all weak in her body again. She wished wildly and full of protests for that she wouldn’t react in this silly way. Like a schoolgirl on her first date! She clenched her jaws but fell slowly back towards the headrest and closed her eyes briefly. Slowly, hesitantly, she entwined her fingers in his not really knowing what to do. When looking at him, she could see that he hadn’t turned his head but gazed ahead immovably and seemingly relaxed. Nonetheless, his nostrils trembled ever so lightly, revealing that maybe he wasn’t as composed as he led to believe. No one spoke again during the short journey, and he held on to her hand for as long as it lasted. Eva felt almost regret when it was over, and she had to let go of him. Yet before she did, and when Maryka had stepped out of the car on her side, he quickly brought her hand to his lips and feathered a kiss on her bare wrist. Eva shivered knowing what a risk he had taken, and on weak, shaky legs she crawled out of the car to meet the studio people who had met up outside on the street, as if a royalty were to grace their premises with his presence. She resolved to talk to Julian and ask what he was doing and why. She couldn’t pretend any longer that all happening now, moving in an ever increasing spiral of events, was equal to a whim on a drunken night.

Yet, Eva never got a chance to talk to him face to face in quiet. Unlike in the States, people constantly milled about in the studio, in and out of rooms. Maryka came and went, the studio manager, the light-setters, the sound-people — everyone came and went to discuss different aspects of the interview and the broadcast with him. Soon Eva was finished with her work, and she retreated to the wings to look at the press conference from there. She left before it was over, a bit guilty for slipping away in advance, but she thought that she had “heard it all before” so many times now.

The next night was to be the first huge concert in Tokyo. Although Eva couldn’t read the newspapers, she could see the long articles on Julian in them, and TV had reports from both the hotel and the arena during the day. It was electricity in the air. She hadn’t seen any of the band-members around at all, but she hadn’t expected to because Steven had told her that they were to sound-checks and rehearsals practically the whole day. Eva wanted to hear a bit of the rehearsal, so she arrived at the Dome in good time in the late afternoon. She could hear them from afar as soon as she entered the premises, and she guessed that the fans outside the arena who waited to be let in also heard them.

When she came close to the stage, she heard that a heated discussion was going on. Nowadays, this didn’t trouble her any longer. Eva knew that it was more a sign of that they were all sort of revving up for the show rather than having a serious disagreement. She sauntered off towards the backstage area and threw a glance up at the construction to see if possibly Martin was around up there, but she couldn’t see him. She asked her way to Julian’s rooms and started to unpack her things when she got there. She looked at her watch. It was time for the show to start. The band which was to open for him tonight — Machinations — had flown in from Europe yesterday, and they were now on stage and playing. Eva could hear that the crowd had entered the arena. The show was on its way. In about an hour and a half Julian would be out there.

Then suddenly the door opened and he whirled into the room. He was in casual dress, sweaty after work and clearly in a very agitated mood. He snatched one of the towels and started to dry himself. Then he ripped off the T-shirt and proceeded to have a look at the clothes laid out for the evening.

“The sound is slightly hollow in “Standing Alone." Can’t understand why the sound people can’t get that right. It irritates me! I’ve asked them to test again while Machinations have started their session. Maybe the technicians can get it better, now that the arena is filling up and the right prerequisites are in place.”

She gathered that he was talking to himself rather than to her.

Then he looked up and directly at her. All his nervous energy seemed to surround him like a field of electricity. He approached her and they were standing in front of each other. She saw him clench his jaws and the aggression in his eyes. Involuntarily she backed a step, but he stretched out a hand to stop her. Something snapped within her then.

“Look here!” she burst out vehemently. “What game are you playing? What is it that you want?”

“You mean to tell me that you haven’t played this game before” he retorted silkily, but there was steel in his voice behind the soft words. “I can’t believe that.”

“I don’t know what ideas you have of me,” she fumed now, “but to say it bluntly, I know there are girls dying out there to be as close to you as I am right now, but I’m not one of them. Let’s say I’m just not your groupie!”

He started to smile then; that wolfish grin, she knew so well, spread over his lips and his eyes glimmered towards her, ignited by a fire from within.

“Did I ever say so? You have such vivid imagination.”

And then he moved in on her with catlike grace and laid one of his arms around her waist and drew her close to his body. He was still only half dressed, and she squirmed when she came in contact with his hot and sweat-humid skin. With his free hand he lifted her chin and turned her face up towards his. Then he bent down over her and kissed her hard and passionately on the mouth. She started fighting then; with all her might and with a beating heart she tried to free herself from him. In the turmoil, she lost her balance and felt herself falling and as a reflex she caught hold of him and together they tumbled to the floor. He landed on top of her and wasn’t late to take advantage of his position, securing her beneath him, locking her wrists with his hands. She fought like a lioness, and they rolled on the floor in a silent and wild battle. She tried in vain to evade his urgent lips. He caught her mouth again and this time the kiss was softly and treacherously sweet and tender. She couldn’t help yielding to it. With a moan she opened her mouth to him only trying to fight him off the next moment. Panting they got on their knees and faced each other like two wild animals, ready for a deadly leap. She looked at him, his disheveled countenance and clearly visible erection.

“You can’t go on stage like that!” she breathed hoarsely.

“I bloody well can! They’ll absolutely love it!!!” he hissed to her.

At that precise moment the door opened and Maryka stood on the threshold. They froze all of them just where the momentum had left them, and there they remained all three of them for a moment which stretched out into eternity in ultra slow motion. Eva couldn’t even breathe. At last, and with mobilization of all her inner forces, she turned her head towards Maryka who looked like a statue in the doorway.

“I …. I lost my necklace and it dropped to the floor. Julian is helping me to …. look for it…” she whispered lamely and knew that it was the worst line out of any drama that she had ever heard or would ever hear.

All the same it broke the spell. Both she and Julian managed to get up from the floor and without adding anything to this impossible explanation he slumped into the chair in front of the mirror and closed his eyes. Eva got hold of a towel which she threw around him and went for her bottles and makeup. Maryka still hadn’t moved. Finally, she made an effort.

“I can come back later, if you are busy,” she murmured and turned and left.

Eva worked in silent fury on Julian’s face. He hadn’t opened his eyes, and he didn’t do it until she was behind him and had started on his hair. Then he caught her eyes in the mirror as he often did, and she stopped for a moment, her hand with the brush remaining in the air. His eyes were hooded and grave, and she couldn’t really interpret the expression. In a way they were naked too. Passion and outrage visible. At last she had to lower her gaze because he was burning her with his. When she was done with him, she quickly picked up her things and fled from the room.

**********

The concert that night was overwhelming. Even from where Eva watched it, it blew her away completely. As had happened before, he dipped into his inner sources and tapped them for energy, transforming his feelings into music and attacked them all. The huge audience — the Dome was packed to the ceiling — went into a kind of unison rapture, and they wouldn’t let him go; they screamed and clapped and stamped the floor until he relented and appeared for an impromptu second Encore that night.

When Eva met the band afterwards, even they were shaken by the response.

“It was so great!” Klaus marveled. “How I shall live this down, I don’t know.”

“Well, for a starter, come along,” Steven called. He took Eva by the hand. “Tokyo is ours tonight, let’s go out and paint the town pink!”

And they drifted out into the neon night of the never sleeping city. Rupert had a contact here since earlier visits and bringing him along gave them access to the most wondrous places. This wasn’t a night for quiet contemplation or to chill out with jam sessions; this was total exhilaration. Eva felt wild and liberated; she wanted to dance. And dance they did. At huge dance palaces off the Roppongi and later on in small, intimate joints which she would never again find her way to. They held on to each other, seeing to that no one got lost and for the first time since this tour started and her new life began, Eva stopped asking questions inside, and instead she surprised herself by feeling and acknowledging an intense yearning for Julian; to see him and to touch him. She gave herself up to that feeling and later, in the early morning hours when she was brought back to the hotel and they hugged and embraced and didn’t want to let go of each other completely, she could still feel it as a reality. Unable to lie, even to herself, she succumbed to it. Yes, she wanted him! Truth! I dare you! He had ignited a feeling within her, and although she still didn’t know what game he played or what he was truly after there was no return now. Inside her room, she slid to the floor and started to cry. Weak and trembling she crawled to her bed. What would happen to her? How would she manage? She felt like some nitwit girl out of a cheap novel, falling for the star of the show. It was all so … predictable, wasn’t it? Well, there was ONE great comfort to look forward to. This particular part of the tour ended in Hong Kong. Then everyone got to go home for Christmas. Home!! God, she had never in her life longed for home and Granny as much as she did now. There was a question of enduring another two weeks. Then she could go back to that quiet place, lick her wounds and consider the future.

**********

There were two more concerts to be played in Japan before going to Hong Kong, one in Osaka and the last one in Nagasaki. Eva especially looked forward to the one in Osaka because she knew that a visit to the nearby very special town of Kyoto was planned within this stop. She had heard Maryka tell reporters that it was Julian’s special wish to see the old imperial city on this tour. Eva concluded then that there was going to be a free day before or after the concert, and she surely planned to get on that sightseeing visit too. She asked her friends and found out that at least Rupert wanted to go along, and she also persuaded Steven to come although that kind of culture wasn't really his cup of tea. So the day after leaving Tokyo they found themselves in Osaka and intent on making the most of the free day. They met up with Julian, Maryka and their entourage in the hotel lobby from where they were transported to the Shinkansen station — the very, very fast train which transported people at breakneck speed between Japan’s major cities. Only going on this bullet train was a feature in itself to experience. They were met in Kyoto by yet another committee which seemed to be expecting and receiving royalty. In a caravan of limousines they were brought to the museum center in the old city where several of the beautiful castles and gardens were housed within the walls which surrounded the so called Nijo castle. Entering there was truly like entering into another world. Eva didn’t know that such places still existed as this beautiful garden with all the sumptuous temples and palaces within, each of them worthy of a whole day’s visit. Yet, they only had a couple of hours to spend there. At the head of their group a guide ushered Julian and Maryka around, explaining incessantly, pointing, demonstrating. Eva and the others followed a couple of steps behind. She wanted to linger a bit to look at the old paintings and the exquisite woodwork. When the guide had finished, Julian bent over him and asked something and was met with profuse affirmatives. Then the whole assembly of people scattered, and every one of them went to have a second view of an object or scenery which had caught the eye. Eva understood with a secret smile that Julian had most likely asked the guide if it were possible to walk about a little in solitude. Eva went to look at the garden and the lakes — the layout was a work of art in itself — then she went back to one of the palaces to look at the gilded pictures and the old and beautiful costumes which were on display in there. While she was watching and studying, she heard a light footfall behind and turned hesitantly. Julian was approaching her, also intent on studying the works of art in this castle.

“You know what?” he said. “What strikes me most is the extreme silence in here. Now, Kyoto isn’t Tokyo and not a townscape, but still… There is a bustling city outside and in here…” he never finished the sentence, but she did it for him.

“…in here it is a magical place, somehow untouched by age and aging. As if some fairy had left it like this at the end of the seventeenth century like a Sleeping Beauty Dream come true in reality. I’m so glad I got the chance to see this. I really am!”

He nodded, smiled and marveled at the intricate ceiling with its plethora of mystical and mythical elements. She looked at him, standing behind him and imprinted the sight of his slender and almost vulnerable neck at the back of her eyelids.

However, the moment of peace and quiet didn’t last forever even in here. The rest of the company caught up with them and after having posed for the press and dutifully answered all the questions, it was time to go back to Osaka and the work which waited there. Eva felt though as if she had been allowed to stop by that magical, secret source of water which every wood, however dark, is supposed to harbor deep inside. She knew she would carry the memory of this moment for a long time.

**********

Osaka was busy, busy, busy and in a way Eva was happy for that. She managed to get out of being alone with Julian for too long at any time. The concert went well, and work was smooth. Thus, no happenings which brought extra irritation occurred. Yet there were undercurrents of turmoil which could be felt and observed nonetheless. Eva became aware of that Maryka had started to focus her attention on her. She ran into Maryka at all odd hours and unlikely moments. She even got the notion that Maryka had consciously started to trace her steps. This knowledge brought a feeling of great unease to Eva. Somehow though she realized that eventually she would end up in a confrontation with this woman who had found the purpose in her life to guard Julian from any deeper contact outside herself. Eva even started to think of what she would say at that moment. Should she pretend that “nothing had happened” or should she stand her ground and ask to be left alone? She also contemplated, if she should ask Julian about it — but on the other hand — NO! That would be admitting out loud that there existed a relationship between them which Maryka could have an opinion on. Presently Eva didn’t want to play into the hands of any of them. So, she kept silent and out of the way as much as possible.

Although one concert remained to be played in Japan, the one in Nagasaki, her friends had already started to talk about Hong Kong. They were almost in a fever about it — about all the things they would do when getting there. Steven and Klaus planned to stay a couple of days after this leg of the tour was ended. Daren had seen to that his wife was flown out here, and they were also to spend some time in the area. They were however going to Bangkok most likely to stay there until the tour picked up momentum again after the Christmas break which was to last about four weeks. It was planned that they were to do Bangkok, Singapore and Australia in January/February. Eva refused to think that far ahead now. She only wanted to think of Brooklyn, Home and Christmas — in that particular order — because that was the way they would happen to her. She was intent on buying Christmas presents in Hong Kong though, and she wanted to find something that would really surprise Granny!

**********

Nagasaki was also a smooth confrontation. Much had of course to do with the extreme efficiency of the Japanese organizers. Whatever Julian and his people needed, it was theirs to pick up immediately. No telephone calls were necessary, no questions asked, everything was already there; close at hand, already laid out and ready to be used. That catered for speed and a friction-free operation.

Eva noticed that Maryka was much agitated in Nagasaki. It seemed as if Maryka had special plans for this night. Eva asked no questions, but rumors leaked out that Maryka had organized a special press conference to take place after the show because this was their last performance in Japan. It was said that she had invited a set of beautiful Japanese starlets to adorn this occasion. A special party was also planned to follow this press meeting. Eva smiled and sneered. To her it seemed that Maryka acted in a rather frantic way. She felt pity on behalf of Julian who was expected to turn up and be part of a happening like this when he most likely wanted to go to bed more than anything else — or if he wasn’t tired — to go to just any place to chill out. As far as Eva knew, Julian had never said no to any of Maryka’s whims or ideas, believing in her promoting capacity to the full. This disturbed Eva somewhat. Eva also noticed that Maryka entered Julian’s dressing room every time she was sure of that Eva was working there, preparing Julian for a show. Again Eva sneered inside. Whatever could “happen” between Julian and herself, would of course not “happen” here, but evidently Maryka didn’t understand that. Eva found it all very irritating and childish, and she longed for the break which was soon to come; she felt an intense need to get out of this claustrophobic atmosphere.

**********

And then they finally arrived in Hong Kong. The crew, the band, the roadies, all of them recharged their batteries; all knew that freedom loomed in the distance, and it was now only a matter of days. To reach that goal, they were all ready to eat dust and perform miracles. Julian grinned and seemed to thrive in the charged atmosphere. They did three hectic nights in Hong Kong and there wasn’t a moment to breathe during the first two days and nights; not a question of having time off to relax, play tourist or go shopping. They all worked very hard.

Finally, it was time for the last night, and when the last concert was about to begin there was laughter and anticipation in the air. Backstage seemed to be transformed tonight. Everyone talked about the upcoming leave or what to do in the evening after the show. It felt and almost sounded like the first night of the tour — total exhilaration.

When Eva entered Julian’s room, she found him still in his dressing gown, standing by the table, busy with something, and when he heard her enter he turned around. She felt that he was agitated tonight, perhaps swept along by the general elation out there. He went up to her and put a card in a piece of string around her neck and smiled mischievously. She looked down on the card in surprise and tried to read the text. “Full admittance — Chow Fat Yuen area at The Peak." He laughed at her as she was standing in front of him looking like a total question mark.

“Be sure to be there too,” he admonished her.

Then she understood. This was her pass for going to the sumptuous party which she had heard about already in Nagasaki. The one up at the Peak which was to be THE party of the tour and end the present leg of it. A sponsor of the concert in Hong Kong — a wealthy media tycoon, Chow Fat Yuen — was the host for the evening and a firework of Hong Kong’s jet set was to grace the event. She fingered her card and felt a bit like Cinderella. What on earth was she going to wear?

“What kind of occasion is this,” she began hesitantly, “do I have a dress to fit it?”

“Women!” he rolled his eyes in mock despair. “Shut your eyes and grab the first thing you get hold of in your wardrobe.”

She blushed because he teased her and gritted her teeth. She would find something, yes, yes. Since she had no fancy jewelry to live up to, it didn’t really matter. He was right. She could pick just anything.

For a change, he talked a lot during the makeup session. Usually he kept quiet, lost in thoughts and inner preparation. Tonight however, he talked about many things. What he expected from the upcoming show, how busy the days had been in Hong Kong, fleetingly of new projects which lost themselves in speculations for the next year. She didn’t really answer; she just put in the odd “hm” or “yes” or “oh?” when that was necessary, and she believed that he was really talking to himself. There was a feverish quality to his agitation tonight, and she realized that he did his best to constrain his temper and the violent swings in moods. She wondered why but dared not ask the questions, not knowing where that would land her. She didn’t want to risk ending up on the floor again in another battle with him. When she was finished, she sumptuously wished him “to break a leg” the way superstitious artists often did when going off to a major event. And this was indeed a major event, the last show before the break — the Grand Finale!

She watched the show from the same point of view as the first time — up on the platform behind the spotlight unit, and Martin was there too. They greeted each other happily as school children on the exam-day. Martin saw the card hanging around her neck and pulled a long face.

“Wow! So you’re going to the Party, are you?” he couldn’t hide the note of jealousy in his voice. She nodded and hid the pass, tucking it away in her T-shirt. She didn’t want to discuss this with anyone; it was bad enough that Martin had seen it. Had it been Steven or another of the band members she wouldn’t have needed to be so careful because she knew that they were invited too. With Martin it was all different though. She knew too that Martin had a great crush on her and had had so since the start, and she had tried to the best of her ability not to encourage him. She knew that so little was needed to set him off. Martin was young, romantic and inexperienced. He would read all sorts of promises into her actions, if she just gave him the tiniest bit too much attention. Steven who understood virtually all that was going on backstage having been around for so long, had looked at her with amusement once and asked if she were aware of the havoc she created and the heaps of ashes she left in the wake of her steps. She had blushed furiously at his comments and refused to meet him halfway with any discussion on the subject. Yet now when she thought of that moment it dawned on her that Steven most likely was aware of what was going on between her and Julian. Had he been giving her a sort of warning or just making her aware of that her secret perhaps wasn’t as safe as she would like to believe? Or had he wanted her to know that there was at least someone around with whom she could talk, should she ever need to do so?

She was shaken out of her thoughts by the roar that emanated from the crowd when Julian entered the stage and the show was set into motion. He blasted them all away with a stunning “Fire In My House” which he handed them in fierce shouts and vile, hoarse whispers. The audience caught on immediately and surged towards the stage. Eva let herself be swept away as she had done so many times before. Later in the evening, in the middle section, he quieted down and set the mood to one of poignancy and almost melancholy. The lights were subdued and he sang intimately, almost contemplatively, “Rosary Mornings” and “Love Is Bondage." Eva had never believed that close to 50,000 people could be so eerily quiet at the same time. It was as if all of them were holding their breath together at that moment. Then she saw how the cigarette lighters were lit in the crowd, one after the other, and it was such a powerful sight that she started to freeze all over. Julian wasn’t going to end the show on that note, however. He let it pick up momentum again and treated them to an almost raunchy “Slaughterhouse” and a light and teasing “Happy You, Happy Me." Before they let go of him, he had to do two Encores and he ended, as she had anticipated, with a statuesque version of “Standing Alone." Eva was frantically busy during the intermissions to better his makeup and make him presentable for another round out there. They talked little to each other.

Then, suddenly, it was all over. Eva didn’t want to linger. She needed to get back to the hotel as soon as possible to change. She found Steven and they agreed on seeing each other — and whoever of the other musicians, who wanted to leave at the same time — in the hotel lobby in about one and a half hour. Eva took a taxi back to the hotel, fidgeting and suddenly very nervous. She had never before attended a party where Julian was to be present. She tried to calm herself down. What would happen? He couldn’t really have time for her; there must be so many other people there who would fight for his attention and to share the limelight with him. In her hotel room she stripped and left the clothes on the floor and went for the wardrobe. She flicked among the dresses in there, irritated over that she found nothing appropriate. Then she got a wild idea. In this town which was open at all hours, she knew that the whole lobby downstairs was full of shops. There would surely be one for clothes as well, and of course there was.

“A dress, perhaps a long one,” she proposed almost breathlessly to the smiling attendant who started to roam the hangers in her shop.

Almost together they dived for a deep purple silk dress, most exquisitely cut. When Eva tried it on, it fell down over her body and clung to her like a supple caress. It was low cut in the back, perhaps revealing just a little too much, but who cared tonight. It looked as if it were made for her. When she turned around in front of the mirror, basking in the admiration of the shop keeper, she knew instantly that this was right.

“Could I suggest a little something to go with it,” the lady asked and continued to smile. Then she took out a golden chain with an amethyst and a couple of drop-formed ear rings to match. Eva protested that it would be much too expensive, but the lady shook her head. This was bijouterie — attractive to look at but not the real thing of course. ‘Why not?’ Eva thought then. ‘It’ll add just what I need to this dress,’ and she decided to go for the jewelry too.

“I’ll keep the dress on, if that is all right with you,” Eva ventured. The shop keeper then smiled even more heartily and nodded as if they shared a secret. Eva put the items to her account and flew back upstairs to do a makeup on herself. It would have to be a very professional express one this time. Here she was on safe ground though, remembering college days when she had done this so many nights after class and before dancing. Finished at last within stipulated time, she looked at the result in the mirror. Yes! She would do. She was ready to go to any party she was invited to. Steven blew an inaudible whistle when he saw her in the lobby, and that was all the proof she needed. They were all there, the boys in the band. None of them wanted to miss out on this particular party, and together they left and sped out into the treacherously glittering Hong Kong night.

**********

Eva was very happy with that she came in a company and didn’t have to arrive alone at this gloriously sumptuous place. Again, she didn’t know that such splendor or luxury existed. When having passed through the gates, they went through a garden up to the entrance where they were met and ushered into the building. They entered a huge hall which through a small flight of stairs led to a large reception room. Down there, Eva could see that if one proceeded down yet another set of stairs, one would reach a large terrace, facing the bay and the view of the Hong Kong skyline. As if drawn by a magnet she went out there. She had to see this view to believe it. When she looked back up towards the house, she could see that it was built, clinging to the rather steep walls of the Peak, following the outline of the mountain closely. Only to make this construction, must have cost a fortune.

She went back inside and joined up with Steven again. He looked so different tonight, dressed up formally. She had to laugh at him because he made a small grimace when understanding her thoughts and her intention. Champagne glasses where pressed into their hands, and the waiters invited them to sample the rich and lavish buffet, laid out on a big table over at the other end. A lot of guests had already arrived, and Eva admired the fabulous jewelry some of the women carried. Yet, although what she had on herself was only fake, she knew that it gave the proper impression and enhanced her dress and slender neck. ‘A real beauty doesn’t need anything to adorn her, nothing will add to the final impression.’ Granny used to say.

The final guests to arrive were of course Julian and Maryka. Eva guessed that it had been planned that way. She wondered how many occasions like this they had attended. Also Maryka wore jewels, which indeed must have had their price. Had Julian paid for these? Had he given them to her? Eva didn’t really want to know. Mr Chow Fat Yuen allowed the press to be present for some shots and brief interviews during the welcomes, but when he was satisfied with that the media people had got what they wanted, they were ushered out of the house and outside the gates. A majority of them stayed there though to keep track of when the stars of the evening were to leave and if so — with whom. When no watching eyes were around any longer, everyone started to relax as if the party could really begin now. It wasn’t a seated occasion of course. Music started almost immediately. The bars opened up. One could choose to dance, eat or drink to one’s own liking.

Eva lost track of Steven. She saw that he had met up with a couple of colleagues and was soon engrossed in shop talk. She met other members from the show and talked to them. She was introduced to some of the Hong Kong guests who wanted to know all about life on tour with a super star. Again she guarded her tongue well and only handed them the obvious platitudes, not committing herself. She drifted through the rooms and lost track of how many there were and wondered why this was considered to be such a priceless party. She couldn’t even pretend that she was thrilled. But of course, it would be a feather in her hat later. To tell that she had been there.

Before she had finished her line of thoughts though, she found herself face to face with Julian and this time he was alone. Somehow it seemed that he had managed to lose Maryka along the way. His face was noncommittal and suave, his eyes calm and dark. So dark that she was almost lost looking into them, becoming aware of that his expression was hiding what went on in his mind at the moment. Like most of the men this evening, he was impeccably dressed in a smart tropical tuxedo with black trousers and a dazzling white jacket to match. Eva noticed that the buttons in his shirt were tiny diamonds. He was devastatingly handsome to look at, and she had to turn her eyes away to keep from staring at him much too obviously.

“I was looking for you,” he said softly. “I’m glad you made it. You look wonderful tonight.” Before she had time to answer, he took hold of her hand. He held her wrist in a gentle but steady grip, not intent on letting go of her. “Come on now,” he continued lightly, “to where the real party is.”

He took her along the gallery outside the terrace to the other end of the room and there, behind a half-closed door, was another flight of stairs leading further down into this house which seemed to be like a set of Chinese boxes. This was a longer stair than the others and it wound around itself a couple of times before Eva could get a view of what waited down there. Yet, she spotted the difference even before seeing anything. Here for the first time, she sensed the eerily sweet scent of burning Chinese incense, smoky and perfumed, and the whole area took on another guise. If upstairs was blandly European and almost dull, down here was distinctly mysteriously Chinese. In a way it was an exquisite portrayal of Hong Kong itself. China with a thin varnish of English culture on top.

They entered a room which was richly decorated in Chinese style and where the center was dominated by a roulette table. A long bar furnished one of the walls and opposite, in the semidarkness, Eva could see sofas and tables where people lounged, talking in subdued voices. A door right across the room led to yet another and Julian, Eva’s hand still in his, walked passed the roulette players and entered the next premises. Music was played softly here and the dark lacquered walls with intricate decorations almost seemed to close in on them. This room was even darker than the other which at least had been lit up by the light-arrangement serving the roulette table. Her eyes were soon used to the darkness however, and she found that people were dancing in this room. However, this was not a disco or a place for the latest crazes on the dance floor. Here people moved to softer and more sensual music, and they were dancing close together. Julian let go of her hand but instead he circled his arm around her body and drew her close to him, and this time she didn’t resist. Instead she relaxed against his arm, bending slightly at the waist so that she could see his face, still calm but graver and with unreadable eyes. Never in so many words did he invite her to dance, but she knew that this was his intention. So, she looked fully at him and sighed almost inaudibly.

“Yes,” she whispered, so low that he would rather have seen the movement of her lips than have heard her saying so.

He wrapped both his arms around her waist then, pressing his hips into hers, entwining their legs; hers beneath the supple, slinky silk in her long evening gown, his enveloped in thin black cloth. Their hips were glued together and her breasts were pressed painfully close to the clean, white silk of his exquisite shirt. She let her head fall down to his shoulder; his cheek rough against her forehead; his jaws tightly clenched.

The space around them vibrated with desire. Their feet moved slowly over the parquet-laid floor in time with the slow and sensuous beat of the music. The couples moving through the semidarkness with them were as drunk on the sensuality — the music, the heat, the darkness, even the drugs maybe — as they were.

She slowly raised her head from his shoulder to see the steely sparks in his eyes. He leaned to the side and brought his lips to her ear and whispered, “You want me to kiss you, don’t you?”

She nodded slightly, almost afraid to reveal how she trembled inside, heart throbbing so hard now that the noise vibrated in her ears.

“I’d like that very much too,” he confessed softly, “but not yet. There’s something I want even more than that...”

He stayed close to her ear to finish his sentence with the absence of words, exhaling a ragged breath, bathing her ear and neck with the fiery heat of his desire.

She shivered, nipples strained, pressing urgently into the sheer silk of her gown. Her lips parted as she inhaled sharply, vibrating into his heat and the implications of whatever lust which made him react like he just did. He straightened slightly, bringing his mouth to only a fraction from touching her lips. He brushed her nose with his, tilting his head to the left. The tip of his tongue traced lightly across the peak of her upper lip before he continued, “I want to touch your naked body.”

She let out a low cry and stiffened in his arms, but he moved them with ease across the floor, over towards the wood wall. When they came close, Eva observed with rising alarm that the wall was made of sections which overlapped each other somewhat, but left space in between; enough space to pass through and out into the corridor, adjacent to this room. There, in the dim light, he picked her up and carried her towards one of the rest rooms which were placed there for the convenience of the guests. Well inside, he kicked the door shut with his foot and locked it carefully. She quickly looked around to get her bearings. It was a big room for being a rest room and furnished in the most elaborate way. Huge mirrors with walnut tables in front of them filled up one wall and the floor was covered with a big Chinese carpet of utmost quality. A long sofa stood opposite the mirrors beneath the paintings which were originals of renowned artists. Of the toilets there were no trace in here; she guessed they were hidden beneath the doors at the far end. This room could easily have merited a place as a living room in any decent flat.

He put her down, and they stood panting in front of each other for a minute before he pulled his dinner jacket off with an irritated gesture and threw it on the sofa. The bow tie went the same way, and he unbuttoned his shirt as if he had a hard time breathing. Then he willfully calmed down and turned to her, concentrating on her. He moved in on her with almost wicked grace, invading her space, his eyes boring into her with savage tenderness. With the utmost gentleness he unzipped her dress and undid the halter-neck button that held it in place. With one, almost gracious movement, the garment slowly fell off her and onto the ground around her feet. She couldn’t help a gasp escaping her, and she tried in a reflex to shield her breasts. But he took hold of her hands, loosening her grip and looked fully at her for a second before he drew her body in to his, flesh touching flesh for the first time. She heard him groan under his breath, and he quickly closed his eyes over the wonderful agony. Then he lowered his head to her upturned face as his soft, sensual mouth covered hers. He didn’t rush. His kiss was slow, soft and deliberate. He stole a taste of her, gently kissing and sucking her top lip. Her mouth yielded and opened just enough for his tongue to dart in and tease hers. The constraint snapped then and he hungrily took possession of her, sucking at her tongue, biting her, bruising her lips, pressing his teeth against hers, filling her up with his passion. It was a violent sexual kiss, so deep that it would burn the soul, yet strangely gentle with agonizing tenderness. She sensed a sort of desperation about him which intensified the longer the kiss lasted. At last he broke away and they both gasped for air, drowning into each other’s eyes.

He took a step back to look at her again and began to move his hands over her body, not only devouring her with his eyes but needing to get her skin under his fingers too, feeling the arousal mount within her when she trembled as fever and chills licked her body in the wake of his hands. He delicately outlined the contours of her firm breasts and played with her hardening nipples, giving them a sharp twist now and then, eliciting gasps of surprise, pain and pleasure from her at the same time. He put his hot dry hands over her stomach and let them travel down towards her silky mound. She wanted to retreat then, but he caught her and pulled her up towards him, the fabric in his clothes scratching her and making her feel even more naked than she was. He pressed his now already huge erection against her stomach and rocked gently against her. Her body responded against her will and she felt how the wetness rushed through her and moistened the thin fabric in her tangas.

“This is what you do to me.” He looked slyly at her as he took one of her hands and pressed it against his hardness. She flinched and whimpered, trying again to withdraw backwards which only resulted in that she collided with one of the huge wall mirrors, and all possibilities for an escape ended there. He closed in on her as he unzipped his trousers and let them unceremoniously fall to the floor where he stepped out of them as if shedding a dead skin. He was naked beneath. He only wore his open silk shirt now and she got this fleeting, uninvited notion of that what she had heard in rumors so many times, but never had been able to confirm, was right after all; that he often, and especially often on stage, wore nothing under his stage clothes. He grinned at her, showing her that he knew well what went through her head, but before she had time to utter a word or react in any other way, he had spun her around in his arms and secured her tight against his body. He placed her hands on the mirror on front of her, locking her wrists, as he probed her back with his engorged member.

“Look into the mirror," he breathed into her ear. “I want you to watch yourself when I make love to you.”

Her eyes were drawn to the image before her then, and she watched how he went for the tiny waistband in her tangas. Giving it a precise and quick pull he tore it apart and slid the remnants of the garment from her body. The pain he caused her was a sharp, instant one which he soothed with his fingers, feathering caresses over her stomach and languidly moving his hands down to her mound yet again.

“Like what you see?” he purred in her ear and she kept watching her trembling body and glazed eyes and how he bent over her to kiss her neck and bite her. She watched his fingers sliding in between her thighs, and she felt how he gently fondled her fold, stroking it from the bottom up to the hard, throbbing clit, being rewarded with a gush of wetness from her burning sex. She heard him chuckle low, close to her ear, and she felt so faint now that she was sure of that her legs wouldn’t support her. Trembling all over, she rested her weight on her hands, pressed to the mirror, and kept on looking at the two of them, mesmerized. He bent them slightly backwards so that he could spread her thighs and expose her. She let it happen and listened to herself starting to moan out of her shallow breathing. He slid his hand yet again over her swollen lips and inserted two fingers into her without meeting any resistance. She cried then, a high wailing cry and writhed in his arms. He had angled his cock so that he kept thrusting it between her thighs now, lubricating it in her juices. From where she looked, she could see the purple head rhythmically appear and disappear between her legs, close to her opening which he fondled with increasing pressure and speed. He dipped another finger into her, exploring the hot, mysterious depth inside her, finding the sensitive spots. With his other hand he furiously fingered her clit with yet quicker and harder flicks. The orgasm that burst through her fences came almost without warning. She spasmed so violently that she almost hit the mirror with her head when she lunged forward. He quickly threw an arm around her to keep her from falling and let his hardness slide inside her at the moment of her implosion, getting to feel the frantic convulsions from her vagina as she thrashed in her throes. She had closed her eyes and hung in his arms, feeling the charge of the release travel out into her body in wave after wave. Only then did she become aware of that he had entered her and was still hard and big within her. He withdrew to turn her around in his arms, facing him. Then she opened her eyes again, now to watch his face, gentle and brutal at the same time, eyes burning with fierce hunger.

“You still like what you see?” His voice was hoarse and ragged. “The Julian you know hasn’t been around as long as you might think; he is a rather new invention. My home was once back alleys you wouldn’t even dream of visiting and don’t think for a second that this is the first time I fuck in a toilet — although perhaps not as classy as this one.” He laughed low.

Then he lifted her up and let her sink down on his still engorged member. It was an intense sensation, one she had never felt before; to be filled up by him as he eased inside her, bit by bit, spreading her walls, thrusting deeper and deeper until he was totally embedded in her still spasming cunt. She threw her arms around him, stealing her hands beneath his shirt to get into contact with his hot and humid skin, and she drew him closer to her body. This act of response and tenderness from her made him tremble for the first time during the night. He groaned then and buried his face between her breasts as he pressed her against the mirror for support. He rocked them for a while at this moment of quiet, letting her feel the impatient cock thrust and twitch on its own inside her, only aided by the gentle undulation of his hips. Yet, it was only a moment of rest to catch some breath. He pressed her harder up against the wall mirror again, slowly increasing the speed of the erotic dance, sweat-slicked skin igniting the aching intensity of flesh on flesh. With one hand he supported her back, the other moved across her stomach, coming to a rest just above the spot where they were joined. Slowly, stealthily, he began to fondle her clit as he thrust harder into her. He sucked a nipple into his mouth and rolled his tongue around it, biting her, licking her. The intense pleasure mingled with pain made her go liquid inside. Her head fell against his arm and the trembling need, building up inside her again, made her cunt clutch his aching hardness in violent contractions. But it was torture to him too. She could hear him moan low and steadily now, moans turning into groans, and she could feel him throb inside her, her own inner muscles rippling along his length, clenching and unclenching. Her body started to tingle in anticipation of the onslaught of the coming orgasm which started to build up in the churning center of her body. She opened her mouth to scream but could only choke. Then she shattered into a million fragments, her last coherent thoughts that she would die out of this relentless solace. Feeling the fury of her release finally broke him too. He gave no thoughts to gentleness now, his body totally out of control as he went after his own pleasure. In long desperate strokes he prepared to spend himself within her. Then he stopped moving and held his cock perfectly still, letting the tension build to the maximum, and insane with need and lust he spilled into her, just pressing as far inside her tight, hot vagina as he could while he squirted his seed deep into her wet, silky, clenching tightness.

And then the roar subsided slowly. The throbbing noise in their heads ebbed out, becoming distant whispers from a now deserted battlefield. Still holding her in an iron-grip, he slid with her to the floor, and they came to rest on the thick, soft Chinese carpet in front of the mirror. Carefully and painfully, he disengaged himself from her and rolled to the side, fumbling for her hand to hold on to. She surfaced slowly as the chill of the air licked her sweat-drenched body, and she became aware of the room again as if she had landed there from a journey, far beyond the boundaries of her mind.

“My God, what a fuck!” she heard him whisper to the ceiling and she couldn’t help smiling.

They lay there for a while yet unable to move, and not until Eva heard that someone out there in the corridor tugged at the doorknob to the rest room, did she become alert enough to sit up. Apprehension and alarm flooded her. She touched his arm.

“Julian, we can’t stay here. Suppose they will get someone from the outside to open the door. Suppose they are looking for you. You are after all the reason for the party. Come on! We must get out of here!”

He nodded and they got to their feet. They washed hastily and dressed. Eva knew that there was no time to do an elaborate hairdo, so she let her long hair hang loose over her shoulders. He zipped her evening dress up, and she adjusted his bow tie. Then there was a moment of stillness. Impulsively he hugged her close, and she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him, sensuously and lingeringly on his trembling mouth and echoes of ecstasy traveled her body. They stood still and silent for several minutes, looking like two furtive children out on serious mischief, listening to any noise from the outside. When the coast seemed clear, they made a dash for it, reaching the stairs without encountering anybody from the premises behind the wooden wall.

Presently Eva was only intent on putting distance between them and what evidence there might be to suggest what they had been engaged in, and she lavished no thoughts on the future as of yet. All that would have to come later. She put it willfully out of her mind as they hastened up the stairs, but just as she was about to heave a sigh of relief over their narrow escape they heard someone in the stairs on the way down towards them. Before either of them had time to react, Maryka stood in front of them. And again, all three of them froze where they stood.

Eva knew that there was no earthly possibility that Maryka could fail to see what had happened during their absence. Even if they had had time to dress and sober up, it must be written all over them. Eva was totally paralyzed for a moment, facing this knowledge with whitening pain. Then she shut herself down to the scene and refused to take part in it. She would not, could not, absolutely refused to confront Maryka at this moment of showdown. Refused to stand and defend herself in a matter which she believed to be her own personal experience and in which Maryka had no right to have an opinion at all or to take part in. In fury, exasperation, feelings of shame and outrage Eva bunched up her skirt to make movements easier and fled upstairs, away from Julian, past Maryka, only intent of getting out of this place of deadly enchantment, out into the air. Behind her she heard a loud and vicious quarrel break out, echoing along the walls with the vileness of the language, and she didn’t stop to find out what they said to each other. She just wanted to put as much distance between them and her as she possibly could.

Since she wasn’t an important guest at this party, no one seemed to notice her leaving. Eva made no effort to find Steven or any of her other friends. She hurried out and ran through the garden and hid as much of her face to the waiting paparazzi as she could, knowing that they would not recognize her and therefore soon lose interest in her and leave her alone. To her great relief she found quite a lot of taxi cars waiting outside the gates, and she stepped into one and asked to be taken to her hotel. She didn’t see the glittering neons of Hong Kong flash by the car windows; she thought no coherent thoughts for the whole ride. Not until she was back at the hotel room. Then she sank onto the bed and started shivering, shaking so violently that she clattered her teeth. Eventually she got up and started walking the floor as if pacing the space in a cage. Meanwhile, she formed a decision in her mind. She would not remain here in this city. Although she had decided to stay at least one more day, she now resolved to leave immediately. She didn’t care to find out if there were any flights available. She would deal with that problem when in the airport, and even if it meant having to wait out there, she preferred sitting there rather than spending another hour in this hotel. Sod the presents she had intended to buy too! She was certain of that the airport shopping lounge could provide her with anything she would have wanted to buy for Granny anyway. Eva threw her belongings down into the suitcase and changed into jeans and a sweater. She went down to the reception to settle her personal account, claiming to leave earlier than stipulated because of personal reasons at home. Before leaving, she wrote a quick note to Steven which she slipped under his door, telling of going home, but not the reason for it. She wouldn’t want to leave without letting him know. Then she ordered a cab and left for the airport. During the ride out there, she finally started to cry and if the taxi-driver noticed her he made no comment revealing that he had observed her.

It was close to five in the morning when Eva arrived at the Chek Lap Kok airport but the place was already busy. She brought her ticket to the counter to ask for any available transportation to New York, even if it meant that she would have to make several stops and change planes. She had to wait for a while as the flight steward checked in the computer to see what he could do for her. Inwardly, she thanked her lucky stars for having been wise enough to get a ticket which she could re-book or cancel, even if that had involved a small cost. Without that option, she would have had to buy a whole new one. At last she was told that she could get on a plane to Anchorage in two hours and there she would have to transfer to a domestic flight. She couldn’t count on a direct connection to New York but would have to make another change in Chicago, an option she readily accepted. The total journey would be longer of course, but in her present state, she didn’t care. She drifted out into the huge passenger lounge and felt all of a sudden that she was hungry. That little something she had eaten off the buffet last night hadn’t served to satisfy her appetite. She went into a café which had just opened and which tempted with freshly brewed coffee and breakfast. She thought again about Granny and the things she had intended to get for her, but couldn’t bring herself to run around looking for presents just for the sake of it — she was much too tired for that. She concentrated on eating instead. It filled a much more basic need than anything else presently. When done, she leaned back in the chair and closed her eyes, and immediately the burning images from last night turned up uninvited at the back of her eyelids. Involuntarily she put a hand over her mouth to keep it from trembling, because merely thinking of Julian filled her with vertigo. Her mind just touched on the memories, and it was unbearable. She sat straight up in the chair again and stared with teary eyes out over the milling mass of people, surging forth and back seemingly without aim in the huge hall. ‘Oh God!’ she thought. ‘Help me, how am I to get through this?’ She rose from the chair and joined the other restless passengers, waiting for their flights. She was afraid of succumbing to sleep too, if she sat down. She hadn’t slept for over twenty-four hours. At last, finally, her flight was called and thankfully she got onboard and curled up in her seat and buried herself under her jacket with the intention to sleep a little. On second thought she ordered herself a neat bourbon. She knew that she needed something to take the edge of her present apprehension; to dull her senses a bit and perhaps even knock her out. She knew that closing her eyes meant meeting Julian again, but she was better prepared this time, and she could take his mocking smile and beautifully frightening presence. Behind her closed eyelids she didn’t have to pretend at least; she could admit that her body screamed for him. She fell asleep with tears running down her cheeks, and the stewardess who passed her seat looked worriedly at her and tucked her up and put an extra pillow under her head.

In Anchorage she changed into a domestic flight. Since she was already very tired and stiff, it was good to stretch the legs when changing terminal to get to her new airplane. She had about an hour to boarding and used the time to phone Granny. It was wonderful to hear the dear voice at the other end, an immense comfort in fact. And Granny asked no probing questions. She merely noticed that Eva was a bit early coming home and that she relied upon Eva calling when she was in New York finally.

“You will be home for Christmas, won’t you,” Granny asked at last.

“Oh! How could you doubt that?!” Eva exclaimed. “I just have to update myself a bit, see to that the economy is in order, that the flat still stands, that my friends are still around and all that, then I’ll be home. Don’t worry!”

“Good!” Granny concluded. “And you will come alone?”

“Yes, of course I will, why do you ask?” Eva looked at the phone in her hand as if she could see Granny in person there and get some explanations.

“Nothing! Nothing!!” Granny soothed her at the other end. “In the past you have sometimes brought friends along. Just let me know which day it’ll be, so that we can make arrangements to pick you up properly. It is already a lot of snow here.”

“Mmmmmm… Snow!” Eva threw a glance out the window to look at the winter-landscape outside. Up here in Alaska it wasn’t only winter. It was the Ice Age.

Eva felt much better after having talked to Granny and even managed to eat a bit on the plane from Anchorage to Chicago, which city proved to be another time-consuming stop. Finally, after a journey of nearly twenty-four hours, she touched ground at the La Guardia airport up in Queens, still a far away from home though. ‘Why was it,’ she mused on the express bus, taking her from Queens to Brooklyn, “that the last bit always seems so eternally long?’ When she stumbled into her flat at last, the whole world rocked beneath her feet. She had to hold on to the walls not to fall and only longed for her bed, although it was only early afternoon, the same day she had left Hong Kong, having traveled against the sun this time. She almost had a hard time sorting all this out.

Eva made a brief tour around the rooms, just to make sure that nothing was amiss, and everything seemed to be in order. She plugged in the refrigerator again, and it started humming out there in the kitchen. She saw that the answering machine to the telephone signaled with angry red flashes, meaning that a lot of messages waited for her. ‘Not now,’ she thought. ‘Later, much later!’ When she was satisfied that all was in order, and no calamities had occurred during her absence, she allowed herself a brief shower and went to bed. Hearing an echo of Steven in her head, she remembered to set the alarm for around nine in the evening, so that she could get up, get a bite to eat and try to reverse the inner clock again. Then the jet lag wiped her out.

**********

It took a couple of days before she evened out; before she woke of her own accord in the morning. When she did, it was with a feeling of relief and of having regained her energy to go on with life again. Willfully Eva had refrained from taking part of either telephone messages or emails, but now it seemed that this could wait no longer. She opened up her cell phone to browse through the messages, and she switched on the answering machine and started to listen to the callers. Just before the end Steven’s voice reached her from over at the other end of the world.

“Baby,” he said, “I don’t know all the details behind your running away — but I guess as much that it is the “flight from the enchanter” — ain’t it? Well, I’m glad that you took care to fill me in on your leaving. I would have been very worried of course, if you hadn’t. And I also have to tell you that Julian gave me no peace until I’ve told him that you’ve gone home. So he knows where you are. Let’s talk after New Year. I’ll be back in the States too by then. If we don’t talk before. Merry Christmas! Take care.”

She stopped the tape there for a moment, thinking carefully over his message.

So, Julian was in the picture.

The last message was from Granny. “Eva my sweet! Now that you are back among us again and hopefully on the right side of your clock and calendar, will you please give me a ring?”

However, she didn’t call Granny just yet. Instead she opened up her computer and her mailbox. Among the ones that popped up in the inbox, she saw that three was from Julian. She stared at them for a long time, but couldn’t bring herself to open them. With shivering hands she closed the computer again and pressed her hands towards her face, trying in vain to collect herself. ‘I’ll deal with him later, I’ll read his mails later…’she thought in anguish and started to engage in all the things which needed to be done before she went to South Dakota and Granny.

Among other things she had agreed to go uptown to Manhattan to have lunch with a dear friend and to do some shopping. Since it was to be a Christmas occasion of sorts, they had chosen “Tavern on the Green” in Central Park. Eva loved that place because of all the wonderful plants and the feeling of sitting in a Green House eating. The glass walls and the part glass roof in the very special Crystal Room, also gave a feeling of being outside even if it were winter season. It was a truly spectacular feeling. All the shopping she ever wanted to do could be done in the area. She didn’t need to run around, and this time she meant to get all the presents for everyone back home at the same time. It would be most convenient.

**********

Manhattan was seething with Christmas preparations. It was only one week to the great event now. The shops, the big department stores and open markets were overflowing with anything related to the big holiday. Live performances with music, dancing and parades, an abundance of decorations on display and any imagined present. It was almost to the point of being too much. Eva thought that an afternoon in Manhattan would clearly suffice for all she would ever want to experience in this particular line, ever. She wondered how the shop attendants felt when coming home in the evenings — or even early nights, since it was more than common that the opening hours almost touched closing hours these days. The clamor of this continuous, boisterous din would echo in their heads and into their dreams. Again, she longed for the peace and quiet in the country around Granny’s farm. She decided to bring out her skis and go for long tours on the now snow-covered fields when she got home.

However, any feeling of discomfort associated with the mercenary holiday message all around her, evaporated when she met her friend — a college associate from Los Angeles, now busy in a theater in New York, off Broadway. Eva was happy for that she had booked a table in advance in the restaurant because the place was indeed full today. They fell into each other's arms and exchanged hugs and kisses, not having seen each other since before Eva left to go on tour almost half a year ago. They exchanged news on poor Janet who was a joint friend, and Eva was pleased to hear that Janet was getting better all the time. Janet had already started on a training program to enable her to get back on her feet fully. The friend was dying to have news of the tour of course, Eva realized that, but Eva tried to the best of her ability to be aloof on the subject and gave only superficial and fleeting statements of the kind that could be read in any newspaper. Instead, she furtively directed the talk over to the theater where the friend worked and to the present production, and she soon got her friend talking vividly on the subject.

Everything was as relaxed and pleasant during their session in the restaurant as one could expect, and in her mind Eva planned for the rest of the afternoon and where to go for her purchases. Everything, until they had almost reached the end of their meal. Then Eva was surprised to see the flashes of cameras nearby. She leaned across the table to ask her company if she knew — or had seen — any celebrity in the place this afternoon. It wasn’t an uncommon feature here in New York. They booth looked around but couldn’t detect anything out of the ordinary when another flash blinded Eva’s eyes. Then it dawned on her that SHE was the target! She was seized with an uncontrollable feeling of alarm and outrage and was about to rise from the table, either to go to attack or to run away when one of the head waiters intervened and with rather rough methods ushered the photographer out of the premises. Eva heard him say something about not accepting having his guests disturbed. With a beating heart Eva slowly sank back on the chair and tried to come to terms with the turmoil inside. Her company across the table said something in an urgent voice, but Eva wasn’t listening. She wondered wildly what media hunters had heard that she didn’t know about. At last she calmed down enough to be able to answer questions and to be civil to her friend again. The other was greatly disturbed by the incident and Eva’s reaction which had been all too visible. Now Eva wanted to pour oil on the outrage by diminishing the incident and laugh it away. Soon they talked again about trivia and soon it was also time to leave, each of them to go about planned errands for the afternoon.

All the same, the afternoon was spoiled for Eva. When she left the restaurant she looked in all directions to see if the coast was clear and that no one was lurking for her behind a bush or a tree. Instead of the brisk walk through the park she had had in mind, she hailed a cab and went directly to a department store several blocks away where she then quickly completed her errands after which she returned to her flat in Brooklyn. Here everything was calm and quiet, and nothing suggested that she was kept under surveillance in her home surroundings. She hoped for that whoever had tracked her down in the center of Manhattan had done so at the spur of the moment. Perhaps recognizing her from news coverage from the tour or from when she, herself, had appeared in the San Francisco papers together with Daren. She started to relax a little and even decided to go to the cinema a couple of blocks away. They were showing a film she had longed to see, and she knew that there would be no possibility for any outing of that kind when back home at the farm with Granny, so better to catch the opportunities while it was still available here. It had started to snow outside but it wasn’t a heavy snowfall, just enough to give her a good Christmas feeling, and she left the house as the dusk started to fall and the street lights were lit all around her.

She walked back home too. That was what she liked about living here. Things were reachable within walking distance, and it wasn’t necessary all the time to take the car or other means of transportation. Eva owned a car, but she seldom used it. It was housed in the garage beneath the flats in the house, and she sometimes thought it would be a better idea to have it permanently parked in Granny’s backyard than here. At Granny’s place it would be impossible to get around without a car, but here it was often much more convenient to use the buses or the subway. That meant quicker transportation in most cases. She entered the house and went for the old and sumptuous elevator which had been installed after the house was built, but long before Eva’s time. She loved this house because it had patina and a history. It also had thick walls and quiet inhabitants who didn’t want to disturb their neighbors. That suited her fine.

When she reached her landing on the fourth and top floor and stepped out of the elevator, she froze to the ground before she could bring herself to close the doors to the cage. Someone was sitting on the stairs over at the corner, close to her door. With the incident from the afternoon in her mind, all sorts of alarming thoughts flew through her head. Had she been hunted down in her own home? What did they want of her? How had they managed to get into the house without keys and/or the door code?  She had no choice but to approach the immobile person, squatting on the top step of the stairs, because he was blocking the way to her entrance. When she approached him in the semidarkness of the landing, she saw that it was Julian sitting there! She froze in her tracks yet again, right in front of him. He looked up then, pushed his cap off his forehead and surveyed her with bland gentleness out of unreadable eyes. He was dressed in a pair of tattered jeans and a well-worn leather jacket and this baseball cap which had shielded part of his face from her.

“Aren’t you going to ask me in?” he asked pleasantly. “I can’t very well sit here all night.”

She nodded in stupor and turned to the door, undoing the lock as he rose behind her, and she let him pass into the small hall inside the apartment and he immediately filled it with his total presence.

“What ARE you doing here?” she whispered as if the walls mustn’t hear their conversation. “How did you get here? I saw no car outside. How did you get into the house? What do you want?”

“Tsk, tsk, so many questions…“he sighed. “Well, for a starter I just waited for the right moment to approach that door downstairs. I could soon see that it closed with a long yawn after any who entered, so I sneaked in after a lovely old lady who seemingly lives on the third floor. I didn’t want to use the elevator, so I walked up the stairs. As for getting here, I asked the car to drop me off some blocks away and I walked the last bit. Not a soul recognized me. That’s the nice thing about this place, but even better in Manhattan I would say. I can walk the streets there and not be molested by anyone. Even if they spot me, they usually leave me in peace. That wouldn’t happen in any other capital in the world.”

He drifted into her small living room and looked around with interest. Eva blushed and hated herself for doing so because — of course — she hadn’t tidied the place up to receive any visitors. All sorts of personal things were lying around, revealing more about the owner than she would have cared to convey.

“But why?” she insisted behind him.

“You ask why; I think that’s rather obvious. Since you don’t read my mails or messages or answer them. Because I take it that you have done neither, have you?” He glanced over his shoulder while getting out of the leather jacket.

She noticed that he wore a T-shirt that once must have been black but which was now turning grey from wear and tear. She became aware of that hadn’t she known his face so well she might not even have recognized him. So different did he look without all the glamour which usually surrounded him. At his question, she bowed her head.

“Yeah,” he continued, “I guessed as much.” — “May I sit down?” he inquired then and she hastened to free her sofa from the newspapers, books, plates with leftover food and other whatnot's to make room for him. Then she slowly sank down on the edge of a chair opposite from where he was sitting. She looked as if she were ready for a leap, if he so much as hinted on a wrong move. He seemed to notice that too.

“Before anything else, I want you to know that you’re stuck with me for the rest of the night.” He laughed low when seeing the alarm in her eyes and how she straightened up.

“Yeah, I’m afraid so,” he continued with just a hint of mocking teasing in his voice. “Getting here was one thing, no problems in the early evening with that really. But leaving now — this late — might invite trouble which I can’t afford to deal with now. Not that I’m scared of walking the streets in the middle of the night, not at all, but it would be foolish to do so. I have too many obligations to meet after New Year and too many people depending on me for their livelihood, to risk my personal safety. And I don’t want to disturb and wake up your entire neighborhood by bringing the car and the bodyguards to your doorstep. That would bring unwanted attention to you, and I don’t want that.”

“I’m already subject to unwanted attention,” she murmured and watched him raise his eyebrows. Then she told him about the incident in the restaurant in Central Park. He frowned during her tale, but didn’t comment on it in any other way than shaking his head.

They were silent for a brief while. Eva was still in confusion over him turning up at her doorstep; she still didn’t know why he was here.

He bent forward a bit, resting his elbows on his knees, perhaps reading her thoughts.

“I wanted to talk to you; I wanted to see how you live. Nothing on tour really gives any idea of the persons taking part in it. It is in a way the same as with any voyage — one leaves the essential behind and only takes along bits and pieces which could be necessary for that particular ride. If you see what I mean.”

Yes, she had an inkling of what he meant but was still full of apprehension and even outrage. He could have made a date!  Then it dawned on her that he might after all have done just that — in the messages she hadn’t read and she lowered her head.

He rose from the sofa and started walking about her flat, uninvited, but she didn’t stop him. It was as if he measured the space both with mind and body.

“Can’t we get a couple of pizzas?” he called from her tiny kitchen. “I’m hungry, how about you?”

Eva wasn’t really hungry, but welcomed the idea nonetheless. She picked up the cell phone to order two pizzas. She asked what kind of topping he wanted and they decided to take two different kinds. More fun to have several tastes to choose between.

She hesitantly went out into the kitchen then since he remained there. He was looking out the window, down on the quiet street. It was way past midnight and only a lone figure of a man, walking a dog, could be seen there.

“You took a great risk,” she ventured at last. “How could you have known that I was to be in the flat tonight?”

“It was a reasonable assumption, knowing from Steven that you were to spend a week in town before going to the country, but yes — I did take a risk.” He didn’t turn around but kept looking at the almost deserted street.

“It’s very quiet here,” he said at last, and it was a note of satisfaction in his voice.

Before she had time to answer, the pizza van called in front of the house, and she went down to pick up the food. She didn’t want to give away the door code or to have people running in the stairs at this hour of the night.

“Geez!” I’m really hungry!” he repeated when she came back, and she couldn’t help laughing then as his enthusiasm enveloped her. They curled up in the sofa and she even switched on the TV, not having seen any news for the whole day. It was a very, very strange feeling, sitting here in her quiet, well-known and safe environment with this strange presence in her room. It felt cozy somehow and vividly dangerous in the next moment.

They watched a funny movie together and laughed. She served them a couple of drinks, and the clock moved steadily on towards two, two thirty, in the morning. She felt tired and upset and weary and longed for bed and didn’t know what to do. He saved her from making any decisions though by anticipating her next move.

“If it’s all right with you, I’ll stretch out a bit here on the sofa.” He yawned visibly.

She nodded and rose and fled to her bedroom, unable to find anything to say that would fit the situation. She removed just the jeans and crawled up under the cover, freezing out of tiredness and exhaustion at the same time. Yet sleep eluded her. She lay staring at the ceiling, listening to the silence and any small sound that would tell her what he was doing out there in her living room. There was no earthly possibility that she would come to rest.

An hour later she sat bolt upright in the bed and threw the covers aside with a wild and irritated gesture. She felt herself breaking down inside, succumbing to the turmoil, heat, exasperation, fear, longing and anger in there. She stumbled out on the cold floor and stole into the other room. The only sound she heard was the beating from her own heart. Not a movement from the sofa revealed that he was awake. She approached it stealthily and stood looking at him for a second. His eyes were closed, but she sensed that he didn’t sleep.

Then she started to cry and she crawled up on the sofa, up between his legs and began beating his chest furiously with her fists. He opened his eyes and instead of displaying any alarm or surprise over her desperation or her violence he caught her wrists and tenderly and relentlessly pulled her into his arms and wrapped them around her. She let go then and came to rest on his body, encased by his arms and his legs, and he rocked them both gently, humming into her ear while she cried and cried and wet his neck and T-shirt with her tears.

Then her pain subsided, and in the wake of it she sought his lips. Like butterfly wings, her lips moved over his, barely touching his trembling mouth, tracing the contours around it with her tongue, sucking on his upper lip. Not able to contain himself then, he strained towards her, moaning low for more, turning them around in the sofa so that he came on top of her, letting her take the full delicious weight of him, burying his hands in her hair, lifting her face towards his; his mouth now hovering above hers and his hot breath all over her face.

“I had to make you face your decisions, I had to let you decide, I had to wait for you to come… there was no other way,” he breathed against her lips. Then he went for her again, this time exploring her mouth with ferocity and a hunger which made her weak and shake with longing, not knowing before that she could want a man in this way; want his touches, his kisses, his sex in this terrible, sweet, savage and totally devastating way.

He lifted himself a bit to look at her, resting on an elbow. He rolled up his own T-shirt over his naked chest, taking her hand, putting it over his beating heart. Her hand shivered lightly when her fingers came in contact with his skin. Then he slowly eased up her T-shirt too, exposing her breasts, gently flicking her hardening nipples. She inhaled with a short and sharp gasp and arched, almost invisibly, up towards his hands. He lowered himself over her again then, pressing their bodies together, greedily grinding himself into her softness.

He kissed her now, fucking her mouth with his tongue, eating her, killing her softly with his passion, drinking hers. Restless in his fierce arousal he pulled them both up in an upright position, facing each other. He freed himself from his jeans and tore both their T-shirts off. As he was about to go for her small panties, she rose to her knees in front of him and undid them before him, sliding them off with a graceful movement. He looked at her with eyes darkening of sensual hunger now. He stretched out his hands to touch her, letting his fingers dance over her body, drawing a line of fire from her collarbone down towards the cleft between her breasts, tracing the outline of them, cupping them in his hands, feathering them over her stomach until he reached her thighs. She fell backwards towards the headrest of the sofa, not being able to support herself, moaning almost inaudibly, letting her legs fall open, inviting him when she felt his fingers touch her seething sex. She saw him squatting in front of her, his cock pointing towards his stomach, hard and big. When he let his fingers disappear into her magnificent wetness, she moved in on him, reaching out for his erection with both her hands. When she touched him for the first time, feeling the hot, almost silky skin of his hardness under her fingers, it twitched violently of its own, and he sucked in his breath with a harsh, painful sound and fell towards the pillows behind his back. Her body now licked by fire trembled under his long fingers, filling her up, spreading her. When she found moments to breathe, she tended his erection with her hands in ever faster, softer, harder movements, lubricating him with her saliva. His fingers were furious inside her, and he worked her in a frenzy. Fierce, savage, whitening frenzy which was to shatter them both and send them over the edge. She watched the hard, flat muscles of his stomach, knotted and trembling and listened to his short shallow groans. The erotic implications of triggering his pleasures sent her reeling at last. She let herself be impaled by his fingers and let out a low, long moan as she started to contract around them, and in the same instant he came all over her hands.

For a couple of minutes she didn’t hear anything but the deafening sound of her own pulses. All exhausted and trembling, she fell against his body, and together they slumped down on the sofa and remained there for yet a while as the room closed in on them again and the surroundings became visible. He turned towards her and caressed her face with a soft, heavy hand, opening his eyes, surveying them. She now looked at him too, her eyes grave and calm and brimming with a feeling she had no words for yet. Then she smiled, encompassing him in her radiance for the first time. Full of surprise and weary happiness she reached out towards him, and he bent over her hand and kissed her palm, shielding the bare emotions in his face from her.

“Shower!” she whispered and looked with wonder and without shame at the traces, visible all over their bodies, of their lovemaking. He grinned then and rose, lifting her up in his arms and went for her tiny bathroom in the hall. The shower-cabin was just large enough to fit the two of them in there together, but they didn’t mind the crammed space. Instead they leaned against each other, letting the water flow over them like a warm waterfall. He filled his hands with soapy cream and began caressing her, inflicting the most unbearably subtle pleasure to her burning skin. He turned her around in his arms, embedding his hardening member between her slippery buttocks and let his hands roam freely all over her body in passionate touches; twitching her nipples, circling his palms over the engorged buds, kneading her breast gently, wrapping his arms around her, pressing her into his body, rocking them steadily into the heat of his desire.

“Let’s make it to the bed, please,” she groaned, mock-pleading with him. He bit her neck and sucked her earlobe into his mouth and answered by slipping his erection inside her, but succumbed to her and reached for the towels to dry them. Then he carried her into the bedroom and fell with her onto the bed — the one that had harbored so many of her anguished, sleepless nights. Now he lay there with her, and she dug her fingers into his shoulders, drawing him close, for fear of him disappearing, dissolving like yet another violent, sultry, impossible dream.

But he didn’t dissolve. He was powerfully present instead. She spread her legs for him and felt him sink down into her arms; sinking ever sinking as his penis forged into her. He slid effortlessly inside her, spreading her inner walls, and she closed her eyes and gave herself over to the utter pleasure of this deep, deep penetration. He sank his cock all the way in and with the last thrust he was buried in her, his pubic bone pressed heavily against her clit, his cock engulfed in her warmth and wetness; her incredible tightness which hot and throbbing encased him in muscular softness and contracted violently around him. The sweet, erotic sensation made him shudder and moan softly as he let his head fall to her shoulder. She raised her hips towards him just slightly, urging him on and he began to move inside her, leisurely and teasingly slow at first; just a mere rocking of his hips into hers, making her whimper impatiently, yearning for more. She felt him grin against her cheek then and slowly he increased his pace.

But he wasn’t ready to release them just yet. He turned them around and had her straddle his hips, getting his hands free to fondle her and to look at her flushed face. With his fingers he traced the edges of her vagina, watching his cock slide in and out of her, and he flicked her clit with his thumb. Her incredible wetness flooded his hand, and he spread the cream all over her mound and her breasts. He twisted her nipples hard and inflicted more pressure to the engorged clit under his thumb and was rewarded with an intensified twitching in her already spasming cunt. He gripped her around the waist and held her impaled on his erection and without warning she began to orgasm. Every muscle in her body froze as her climax approached, and long shudders went through her body as she rode on the wave of tension, flooding out into her, clenching and unclenching her fists, her face contorting into a near-feral grimace, letting out a strangled cry which ended in a long sigh and she fell down over his body.

He never gave her any time to recover. He turned them quickly around, crawled up over her body and slid his cock into her slick, wet, churning hole. For the next ten minutes he held off losing his seed inside her, changing rhythm, speed, depth and angle numerous times. A series of peaks, both small and large, ran through her body, detaching her from reality for a small eternity. When she surfaced, she became aware of that he was no longer thrusting into her, but that he was now holding his thick, throbbing hardness buried deep within her, as his semen started to pulse up the shaft of his cock. He bent into her then, burying his hands in her hair, kissing her throat, and she felt his hot fluid fill her up inside, burning her with sweet, blissful torture as his teeth raked her neck.

His body collapsed over hers, and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders as her chest heaved for air. Slowly he rolled off her and came to rest close to her; one hand gently rubbing along her thigh as he watched the daze of her recovery. She licked her lips and swallowed in search of moisture for her mouth and turned her head towards him and smiled weakly, lazily, wanting to drown in this moment of total closeness.

She didn’t remember much more from that night. Drowsily, she curled up against him and fell asleep almost instantly.

**********

When she woke up after a couple of hours’ brief sleep, she thought at first that she was alone in the flat again because he was nowhere to be seen in her bedroom and she almost panicked. Then she heard sounds from the kitchen and let out a sigh of relief. She crawled out of bed and pulled a long T-shirt over her head and went out there. He stood by the window and smoked a cigarette. He turned around when he heard her and caught her in his arms when she came close to him. His face was grave and a bit tired; she wondered why. A quick glance at the clock on the wall told her that it was close to seven in the morning. She could have slept for three hours, not more.

“What is it?” she wondered. “What’s eating you?"

“I got a mess on my phone just now. It seems Maryka has organized an impromptu press conference to promote the Christmas release,” he sighed.

Her heart sank. Of course she had known that his glittering, harsh reality would soon catch up with them again, but she had hoped for that it wouldn’t happen so soon. Her eyes filled with tears which she didn’t want him to see. She disengaged herself gently from him and started busying herself with making tea. She groped for the tea mugs in the cupboard over the sink and could hardly see for tears. With a giant effort she pulled herself together and swallowed hard several times.

“When is it to take place and where? Uptown somewhere?” she asked.

“Ten, at the Virgin Stores,” he offered laconically.

“Well, let me drive you home right away then, so that you can change and be presentable. That will be the smoothest thing. I have my car below here in the garage.” She went quickly to the bedroom to put on a pair of jeans and a jacket — and a pair of sunglasses. She brought along a pair for him too.

They took the lift down to the garage without meeting anyone, and she saw him pull the cap down over his face and the sunglasses. He sank down on the seat beside her and stretched out his long legs. Before she had time to start the car, he grabbed her hand and forced her turn towards him.

“What will you do now?” he asked with a low voice.

“I will go home and celebrate Christmas,” she whispered.

He nodded and didn’t comment, but he bent quickly over her and kissed her trembling mouth hard. She held the wheel in a whitening grip and tried desperately not to cry again. She started the car with a rather violent movement and soared out into the morning traffic. He directed her through it to find the fastest and best way to get to his Tribeca house, and they reached it in reasonable time. She had never been in these quarters before and looked at the sumptuous building which had once been a factory and now, rebuilt, housed the most exclusive and elaborate flats. She remembered having read somewhere that he had the top floor all to himself, overlooking the Hudson River. Before he stepped out of the car he took her hands and squeezed them hard. She saw that he would have wanted to kiss her again, but his present life had taught him that even if everything looked calm and quiet on the surface that was no assurance for that the place was void of paparazzi with zooming lenses to their cameras.

“I’ll be in touch,” he murmured. “Don’t worry.”

“Yes…yes,” she answered, “hurry now or you’ll be late.”

Eva didn’t want to prolong this painful goodbye. She wanted out of here as soon as possible. She wanted out of New York. She wanted to go home. Julian let go of her then and slipped like a quick shadow inside the large door to the house. She sat for a second quite still in the car, collecting herself before she could start the car to go back to Brooklyn again. 

**********

It wasn’t altogether easy to go by air from New York to Granny’s house on the plains in South Dakota, but it was manageable nonetheless with only one change of planes. Eva had to travel to Minneapolis in Minnesota to start with. From there on she was to go to Sioux Falls where Paul, one of the young farmhands, would pick her up in a car. It was a myth — that going by air was such an easy way to travel and it took no time at all. Well, she didn’t mind. She was going home, and she had ample time to think about her situation before standing in front of Granny again. She also needed to think. That was abundantly clear.

Well up in the air, she closed her eyes and allowed Julian to surface in front of her eyes, and as always, she could hardly meet her feelings when confronted with him. The heat of their last meeting, the turmoil of the past months, all attacked her with an onslaught she had a hard time defending herself against. Yet this time she set herself to the task of analyzing her emotions and the development of her life.

She had to admit that Julian had changed her life forever. It was useless to deny that. Since she came to live in his vicinity and work for him, nothing would ever be the same again. Eva would also lie to herself if she pretended that she didn’t love him. She did love him with a terrified, anguished yearning. She compared it at times to closing her eyes and jump without a parachute. The anguish had to do with the fact that she had no idea of what she really meant to him, what place she actually occupied in his life. Also the consequences of a life with Julian was enough to give anyone a sinking feeling. If it ever became a reality, would she be prepared to give up a great amount of her privacy to follow him? She knew that these questions would have to be answered and sorted out. They would have to be dealt with before she joined the tour in Bangkok again after New Year. She wondered too, how much of all this Granny knew or suspected. Eva had never been in doubt about Granny’s sixth sense so to speak. She was absolutely sure of that Granny knew more about her dilemma than she had yet revealed.

It was a relief to stretch the legs a bit in Minneapolis although Eva didn’t leave the airport area. Too little time to do that. Instead she treated herself to a cup of coffee and caught up with the latest news in the papers. In the section covering media and entertainment, she was confronted with huge pictures from Julian’s press conference in the Virgin Megastore in New York and the signing of CDs and DVDs which followed. She looked at his radiant smile and suave appearance and found it hard to believe that the man had literally stepped from her bed into the lime lights. In almost every picture she could spot Maryka in the background. Eva closed her eyes again. This was another inevitable confrontation ahead of her. She couldn’t pretend that Maryka didn’t exist, and she knew that Maryka wouldn’t leave the arena without a fight.

It was late afternoon when Eva landed in Sioux Falls, and she was very happy and elated over seeing Paul who had always been like a younger brother to her. They hugged and he helped her carry her suitcases and parcels over to the Land Rover and without further ado, they headed northwest out on the plains, soon leaving the bustling Sioux Falls behind. Even if the car made a humming noise, it wasn’t really disturbing, and Eva soon became aware of the blessed silence around them. The most coveted thing in her childhood surroundings; to belong to a place where one could step into nature without having to do elaborate preparations. Outside the front door it was all there, like a temple to walk into.

They talked little; Paul wasn’t very talkative, and Eva was very comfortable with the silence. She only asked a couple of questions concerning Granny and her health because Eva knew that Granny wouldn’t give her any voluntary information on the subject. Paul reassured her however. Granny was fine and as vigorous as ever.

The night had come before they got home. Eva was treated to a view of the house, all lit up by candles in the windows and with a big glittering Christmas tree at the end of the drive. Never before had she been so happy to see her home, and she couldn’t wait to get out of the car and into the arms of Granny who were on the steps of the stairs at the same moment. The children came running too, all laughing out of excitement, and the dogs started barking. Eva could hardly make herself heard, but it didn’t so much matter. She buried herself in Granny’s arms and just closed her eyes and felt being filled with blessed relief.

They had waited for her and refrained from having the customary early dinner, and instead all of them now assembled in the big dining room for a grand get-together. They were all talking and laughing, and Eva found herself telling the most amazing stories from her adventures, in her mouth now sounding like fairy tales. She had a moment alone with Granny too, while the others cleared the table and arranged for coffee to be brought in. Granny asked no clandestine or impertinent questions, however. Instead, she treated Eva to news about their quiet life and the arrangements for Christmas when uncle Marshall and his family would join them. Eva put all her troubles away for the moment, closing the door on them. ‘I’ll deal with it later,’ she thought as she usually did when confronting an obstacle, hard to deal with. ‘Tomorrow perhaps…’

But the days which led up to the big holiday, didn’t offer Eva any opportunity to face her problems, and to be honest, she wasn’t altogether bothered by this fact. It was so tempting to forget about it all and indulge in all the traditions and the fun which came with the season; visiting friends and taking part in the preparations. Then the great joy of Christmas Day, not in the way she had felt about it when she was a child and only thought about the parties and the presents, but a devout feeling of happiness over belonging here and being blessed by this incredible gift.

On their way home from Huron on Boxing Day where they had been visiting uncle Marshall in his home, Eva felt however that the moment of total joy was over now. Even if New Year wasn’t far away, the moment of bliss and forgetfulness was over, and she would have to start thinking about the future. While everyone talked and laughed in the car, she fell silent and crept up in a corner, not taking part in the elation. If Granny noticed this, she made no comment about the fact. Eva said hasty good nights when they returned home and retreated to her quarters, not being able to face anyone for the moment and least of all the vigilant Granny. She lay there in the quiet night and couldn’t sleep; thoughts endlessly milling about in her head. She found no answers to them, and they brought unrest and anxiety into her weary dreams too when she finally drifted off to sleep out of sheer exhaustion.

When she woke up the next morning the day had just broken, and she lay for a moment listening to the ordinary and soothing sounds of the household below. Then, all of a sudden, she detected something out of the ordinary. She heard voices from below which she didn’t recognize, and although there was no agitation she detected a note of urgency in the conversation. She quickly got out of bed and went up to the window. Looking down at the yard in front of the house, she caught sight of a big foreign car. It was parked in a large pile of snow which Paul had swept together to clear the drive since it had snowed quite a lot over the night. It looked big, black and sinister. Alarmed now, she quickly changed into jeans and a sweater and went downstairs, heading in the direction of the kitchen from where the voices emanated. Then she froze on the threshold. Because at the big oak table in the middle of the room with a steaming cup of coffee in front of him, sat Julian in animated discussion with Granny.

“Oh THERE you are,” Granny called out when catching sight of Eva. “Come here and have a spot of breakfast. I’m having a delightful and very pleasant talk with your young man here!”

“He’s NOT my young man!” was all Eva found to say.

“He says he is,” Granny interrupted emphatically. “And he has come all the way here just to see you.”

Eva felt exasperation starting to mount within her, and with that a prominent blush began to color her neck and cheeks. The situation didn’t improve when she spotted Julian hiding his grin behind his hands as he kept his eyes demurely fastened on the table in front of him.

Granny looked at Eva and Eva realized that Granny knew everything and had always known everything. However innocent her remarks might sound, they didn’t hide that Granny had formed a very precise opinion of the situation and wasn’t going to be budged in her views by either Eva or Julian.

“Be how it may," Granny said in a matter of fact voice as she rose from the table, “I’ll leave you two now to sort this thing out. I’m quite sure of that you will reach an understanding.”

Then she left them quietly without meeting Eva’s eyes. Finally, Eva was left alone with Julian, and finally they looked at each other.

Julian got up from the table and approached her. She made an involuntarily gesture as if she were about to back away from him, but she remained standing until he was very close.

“You are the shyest and most reserved “animal” I’ve ever come across, and I’ve never had to tread so warily around anyone, as I do around you,” he said softly as he reached for her. He drew her into his arms and she yielded and rested against his body her breast pressed tightly against him and her head on his shoulder.

“What are you so afraid of? Am I scaring you so much?” he murmured into her hair.

“I’m scared of not knowing what part I am to play in your universe, what I mean to you and what you expect from me. What game are you playing?” she replied with a low voice.

“I’ve written a song for you,” he told her then. “Want to know the title?” To which she nodded, still silent.

“I’ve called it “When Will You Stop Running?” And it is to appear on my next album.”

She lifted her head and tilted it backwards to be able to look him into the eyes. He was smiling teasingly at her, and she let herself be disarmed by him.

“I’m playing the All-Or-Nothing Game,” he continued. “I want it all — All of you — there is only All or Nothing; between these two extremities there is no option. I wanted you from the first moment I saw you. You were standing there in front of me, unsure, bedazzled by the environment, yet defiant and ready to stand your ground. You would never give in to me out of pressure or manipulation. You would only consent to be mine out of your own free will. God, how I wanted you!”

“I love you,” she confessed. “And I’m so helpless confronting this feeling.”

She lowered her head as he closed his eyes over his naked feelings and kissed her, so softly, with such vibrant yearning, so tenderly. She let her hands travel his body as if touching him for the first time, letting her hands get to know him intimately. She felt the trembling response within him and how he fought to keep his equilibrium. Then he sighed deeply and looked over her head out in the room.

“Will you consent to try then? To live with me?" he asked.

And she nodded, reaching out for him with her love and acceptance as if delivering the most precious gift of all.

He closed his eyes then and rocked them steadily and quietly for a while, released from the pressure within, almost swaying as if hit by vertigo. She had no idea of for how long they stood there. The turmoil subsided within her too, and only a great warmth remained. The fear was gone, finally.

At last they shook themselves out of the reverie and returned to the present. Julian put his arms around Eva’s shoulders and together they went out into the large living room where Granny resided by the window, quietly reading her paper. When they entered, she looked up and smiled radiantly.

“How lovely!” she exclaimed as she rose to meet them. “I knew you would sort it out somehow!”

She beamed towards them. Then she turned and looked directly at Julian as if reminding him of something which had been said between them before Eva came into the kitchen this morning.

“You needn’t be afraid,” he answered, “I shall guard her with my life.”

“Good!” Granny concluded. “I knew from the start that you are a good boy!”

Eva couldn’t help smiling. Granny was most likely the only person in the world who would consider calling Julian Woolfe a “boy” and mean it in earnest. Julian smiled too and bent his long body down so that he could place a kiss on Granny’s cheek. Then they sat down to just be together for a while. 

**********

Julian came to stay in Eva’s home for two days.

“You’ve come this far to meet her. You can’t very well rush off again now. This is between two holidays and you too must have a break in the calendar,” Granny said. “I realize that you have to be back in New York for New Year, but two days you can stay. It is very quiet around here and we don’t expect any visitors. And by the way. We will not be bothered by unwanted attention here either, if you fear that. Out here on the plains, we know when someone is approaching even before they have made it over the horizon. So them two boys, you have brought along, can take a bit of a rest too.” This last bit indicating the two bodyguards who hung around the entrance, much to the happy surprise of the children. “We have plenty of room here. There is no trouble at all!” Granny concluded.

Later that night when Eva lay in the arms of Julian in her own small bedroom and in her own small bed, she couldn’t help laughing.

“You know,” she said. “Even if Granny knows that you are here with me in my room during the night, she would never dream of admitting that out aloud. Of course she must see to that you have a room of your own even if you spend so little time in it. That is the way it’s done out here in the country. Very proper you know.” And she heard him chuckle.

“And who knows!” she went on teasingly, “You might well be tempted to return to that spacious bolster in that spacious room when you’re tired of the cramped space here. If we are to sleep here, it’ll be in spoon-fashion.”

“Don’t even dream of it. I’ll not leave and I’ll sleep with you in my arms,” he yawned lazily behind her. Yet his relaxed way was belied by the urgency with which he caught hold of her body again and went for her mouth to silence her.

********** 

Two days is not a long time but somehow it seemed endless. Eva took care to show all her favorite places to Julian; they went for long walks, they were fed by Granny’s hearty meals and they slept the long, sound sleep of children and made love to each other as soon as they woke up in each other’s arms. Eva would remember these days for the rest of her life as a precious gift.

Two days before New Year’s Eve the “vacation” was over and it was time to go back to reality and the marvelous adventure which awaited there. In a quiet moment before it was time to leave, they were sitting together before the fire in the living room.

“Maryka?” Eva said tentatively at last.

“I’ve talked to Maryka before I left New York. I told her all about you, and I guess she wasn’t surprised. I said to her that I had made my decision and now it was up to her to make hers. If the new situation is one she can’t handle then she must consider leaving — it will of course not be without compensation — but of course she is welcome to stay if she will accept the new development.”

“If she stays on, won’t she be able to do me a lot of harm?” Eva ventured hesitantly.

“I would never allow her to do that,” he stated calmly. “Besides, I think you overestimate her importance.”

“Let’s say I don’t underestimate her,” Eva retorted but felt better for the fact that the problem had a name and could be talked about. It cleared the air and made her feel stronger. She would take on Maryka too if that were necessary.

They took a long, long, warm and loving goodbye from Granny who prompted them to return soon, both of them. The guards had brought the car out and were back in business now, also having enjoyed their little break. They were to drive directly to Minneapolis from here instead of engaging in a flight from Sioux Falls. The ride would take them around five hours but was still to be preferred to dabbling with local flights. There wouldn’t be a sufficient gain in traveling time anyway. Tickets had been bought for a flight from Minneapolis to New York later that night.

Eva slept in Julian’s arms for long parts of the journey. The roads were monotonous, and there were no long breaks. In the late afternoon when the dusk started to envelop them, they rolled into the Minneapolis airport. They turned the car in at the rental depot and went for the check-in, one guard behind and the other in front of them. Julian took hold of Eva’s hand as they entered the building and held it in a strong and comforting grip. He turned his face to her.

“Smile at them,” he said. “Just smile, nothing else. That is the best approach. Look a bit over their heads too so that the flashlights wont’ blind you.”

She looked at him in shock. She hadn’t really reflected on that the new life was to begin now. Just right now. He understood the sinking feeling within her and squeezed her hand even harder.

“You’ll get used to it. It won’t last for long. We will soon be in the VIP lounge. And don’t be afraid, I’m here with you, nothing bad can ever happen to you now.”

“I’m sorry. I just wasn’t thinking that this would happen so soon. I wasn’t prepared. This is the first time…”she whispered.

“There is a first for everything, you once said so yourself,” he grinned at her. “Come on now! Let’s get it over with!”

So they entered the airport as the flashes started to click in her face. She had no idea of how the reporters had found out that Julian and this “unknown beauty” were to travel from Minneapolis to New York that evening, but the ways of how the news traveled, would henceforth be a continuous mystery to her. Next day, or perhaps even only in a matter of an hour or two, she would be world news, and her picture would be cabled around the globe in a matter of seconds.

There was no going economy class this time. They were seated in a special VIP compartment which they shared with one more couple; Eva thought that she had seen the man in the newspapers before and vaguely remembered something about Russian oil. They greeted each other formally but didn’t disturb one another for the rest of the journey. Champagne was offered and Eva wondered if she dared try it; she was afraid that it might go to her head. Julian persuaded her to take just a small sip at least, as if he wanted to celebrate their new life in some way.

If Minneapolis was a line of fire to get through, La Guardia in New York would be an ordeal. Not only the body guards had to help them disembark but also personnel from the airport had to be at hand to usher them through the hoards of media people who evidently were there solely for their sake. She heard them shouting questions at her. Who was she? What was her name? How had she met Julian Woolfe? But soon it was over and the dark limousine, the one she knew by now — the one with the dark windows — was waiting for them in a spot where the media couldn’t get at them. Soon they were speeding through the New York night. It was close to eleven o’clock, and Eva started to feel unreal. ‘I’ll wake up tomorrow, and then I’ll know that all has been a dream.’

Close to the Tribeca house there were a couple of reporters lounging too, but not nearly as many as in the airport. The guards drove directly into the garage, and from there they could access the flats without having to go back outside again. Up they went in the elevator, and Eva felt so out of place here with her small suitcase in her hand. She thought randomly that she had to arrange to get some of her personal things in Brooklyn transferred here tomorrow. At last they were outside his door, and her heart started to beat out of apprehension. He used a code to get inside and taught her the numbers. Then she stood in the spacious hall. Opposite her was the opening to a large room which was adorned by one huge window with a terrace, facing the river. She furtively stole in there and looked at this rather anonymous room. She couldn’t have spotted that Julian the person lived there. All the same it was indeed a very lovely room.

He came up behind her and encircled her waist with his arms. “I’ve never been able to make friends with this apartment,” he reflected. “Perhaps you can make a home out of it? Come, I’ll show you the rest.”

Not until they reached his bedroom, did she get a feeling of that someone lived for good in this flat. This was a room with a feeling in it; with beautiful vaulted windows, so large that one could sit in them and look down on the streets and the river outside and the skyline farther away. Here she felt that he most likely dwelt when he was here; a large TV on the wall and the portable computer in the window, confirming her thoughts. He fell on the bed and closed his eyes, and she sensed suddenly that he was extremely tired and weary. She lied down beside him and took him into her arms, feeling that it was good that she could comfort him too. He let himself be enveloped by her arms and came to rest with his head on her breast. They hadn’t removed any clothes at all, still carrying their overcoats. There they lay for a long time in silence, while she gently caressed his forehead and cheeks. His face was white and quite still; she felt his heart beating heavily.

“It will be all right,” she whispered, repeating it quietly over and over again. “You have promised to be here for me, and I will be here for you.”

Then she sat up in the bed beside him and started to free them from clothes. Overcoats, trousers, jackets, shirts, jeans, shoes, socks, underwear; everything was thrown on the floor beside the bed until they were both naked. Then she pulled up the light eiderdown cover over them and crept beneath it, taking hold of him again. He hadn’t opened his eyes, but she knew that he wasn’t asleep. His forehead was damp with cold sweat and his heart beat violently. She had to admit that he worried her a bit, but she hoped that he would pull out of it and not faint on her. He rested heavily on her, and after a while his breathing started to even out and his heart stopped raging too. After yet a moment she sensed him becoming heavier, and she knew that he had fallen asleep. She eased a little in the bed to make them more comfortable. She shut her eyes over the vertigo which was almost to overtake her, but before she knew it she had fallen asleep too.

Eva surfaced some hours later, to begin with not knowing where she was or why, but then she became aware of that Julian moved beside her; that he crawled up over her and urgently and insistently struggled to move in between her legs. He was hot, almost feverish, and she couldn’t reach him with words. Instead she opened up to him and let him enter her. Unceremoniously and with great need he pressed himself inside her, not waiting for her to adjust to his size, he thrust deeper. She gasped but didn’t struggle. When he was fully embedded in her tightness he relaxed a little. With a deep shuddering sigh, turning into a groan, he let her take the full weight of his body. He took her head between his hands and looked fully at her for the first time, since they entered the flat. His face was sweaty and his eyes hooded and she could watch the desperation, hunger and desire raging within him, wanting at all costs to be appeased. He began to fuck her then, slowly and deliberately at first, going deep with each stroke. His need for her ignited her, and a flood of wetness made his movements in her smoother and more supple. She arched up towards him to get him to fully penetrate her and her thighs started to shiver, partly from taking the brunt of his onslaught and partly in anticipation of the release he promised her. He increased his speed and tensed his whole body in the effort, now kissing and biting her as he went down on her with full harsh strokes. Unmerciful in his savagery, he pumped his hips in a ferocious erotic rhythm, and she felt how her body started to contract to meet the rush of orgasm which started to build up in her heat. She succumbed to it and let herself be consumed by the relentlessness of the pleasure he inflicted on her. Then, furiously, he went after his own satisfaction, mindless of her now, driving desperately into her and with a loud groan which could have been out of fulfillment or agony, he spent himself inside her. Again and again he did. Then he collapsed over her body when he was done, and his breathing was harsh and shallow.

Not until then was he present again, and not until then did softness come into his movements, his caresses and his attentions to her. It was as if he came out of a coma, as if he had been possessed. He rolled onto his back and wiped his forehead. Then he took one of her hands in his.

“Forgive me,” he breathed. “I had this awful dream and I didn’t know if I kept dreaming. You were to leave me, you didn’t want to stay here, I couldn’t do anything to stop you, I kept running in the stairs trying to stop you and I couldn’t see you.”

“Julian,” she replied softly. “You have to calm down now, or you’ll get a heart attack or something. We have both been under terrible stress lately, and we must give allowance for this. I’m here, out of my own free will, and I will stay here. We have a lot ahead of us. I’m the first to acknowledge this. But we can’t do all we want to do in one day. There has to be a time for everything. Now, we shall be out on tour again for another six months and perhaps even longer. Huge challenges will meet us there, and we don’t know how to deal with them yet. We will have to take on the problems as they come. And if you don’t mind me telling you so; I guess the reason for you not feeling really at home here, most likely is due to the fact that you’re never here. But I think it has great potentials, let’s see what we can make out of this place together. I hope that we will have time for that later on, next year.”

He turned into her and put his head on her breasts again, and she caressed his back and shoulder. She listened to his breathing becoming more and more even and how he relaxed heavily against her body. He fingered her nipple gently, flicking it between his thumb and a finger. She closed her eyes and squirmed a little because his touches triggered twinges in her stomach.

“Mmmm...”she murmured. “We have to get some sleep now, Julian, please…”and she smiled with her mouth against his forehead.

“Mmmm..."he replied and took the nipple in his mouth, eliciting a little cry from her. Yet in the end he was too exhausted to pursue any further lovemaking for the moment and eventually they drifted off to sleep, their bodies entwined around each other. 

**********

The next day Eva went to Brooklyn to pick a few of her personal things. There was no question of spending a long and tedious time on the official means of transport any longer. She was taken there in one of Julian’s cars, driven by a chauffeur. She had learned by now that he had several cars in the garage beneath the Tribeca house. Eva was happy with that she didn’t have to arrive in her old street and to her old home in the black limousine though. That would have created too much of a sensation no doubt. This was a more anonymous Mercedes.

She had had a discussion with Julian over morning tea concerning the Brooklyn flat.

“Could we please keep it...”she had asked. “Just for a little while at least?”

“You mean so that you have a place to retreat to when you want to run away from here?” he had added with a grin but also a small grimace, showing that he wasn’t joking entirely.

“Oh, Julian!” she had exclaimed. “Don’t be paranoid!”

In the end he had seen the good in the idea though. There was no rush to be rid of this flat. If they wanted to sell it later it would be no problem, and they could finish the deal with a good price.

She packed clothes she needed, books, records, DVDs she hadn’t watched, and on top of it all she put the Black Sheep toy. Then she took a long look at the place which had once been home, and she left it hesitantly.

Back in Manhattan, she found Julian engaged in an urgent telephone call. She understood after a while that it was Maryka at the other end. When he was finished, he turned around towards her.

“Tomorrow, on New Year’s Eve, I have to attend a formal occasion. It’s one of these award things. I’m not to receive any prices myself, but it’s evidently expected that I’m to hand over a price to an aspiring young artist. It won’t be a long occasion. It’ll take place in the afternoon and last for a couple of hours, and there will be no seated meal; just some snacks and champagne, I believe. I want you to accompany me there. You’ll find it terribly boring. I’m totally convinced of that, but nonetheless I want to go there together with you. I want us to be seen together officially before the tour starts again. It’ll make things easier once we are on the road again.”

“Of course I will.” She accepted his wish without debate. She knew that when it came to ushering her into to the unreal world he lived in most of the time, she would have to let him set the pace. However, she had also made up her mind that it was her mission to bring some reality back into his life. If he were a slave to the artificial, she would bring the human dimension back to him. So, she added:

“I’ll accept on one condition.” To which he lifted his eyebrows in expectancy and perhaps apprehension.

“That when THIS occasion is dealt with and we are “free” to go, we shall go home here, make a most wonderful meal together in the kitchen and celebrate a glorious New Year, all by ourselves.”

He laughed and hugged her. “You’re a witch!! I should have known!"

**********

It was one thing to make a dash for it in an airport, but a totally different one to arrive on a formal occasion, step out of a car on the red carpet, wait to be photographed, smile, answer endless questions and to be ushered into a big hall where yet a hoard of media people was just waiting to chew you up alive. Eva was very nervous, there was no denying that, and she had poured endlessly over how to dress for this reception. In the end she decided on something strict to match the mood. She chose a black silk suit with a lace blouse with a very high collar. She looked demurely alluring she concluded when watching herself in one of the tall mirrors in the bedroom. She made a very careful and stunning hairdo to match and an exquisite makeup to go with the impression she wanted to create.

When she was nearly finished, she heard Julian enter the room and he slipped up behind her, almost furtively.

“God! You look sexy!” He encircled her waist with his arms and drew her body close. She smiled then and nodded. That was a good start. Why not woo them? That media lot. She’d show them that she could dictate some rules too.

“I have a belated Christmas gift for you,” he whispered in her ear and slipped a massive, yet delicate gold chain around her neck. It was in white and yellow gold, studded with small diamonds. She gasped and put her hand to it, hardly believing that she was to wear something so beautiful. “Only the best will do for my Queen,” he murmured.

They arrived in style. The big black car slowly slid up towards the canopy which provided shelter from the snow, gently falling now. Holding on to her hand, Julian stepped out of the car bringing her along, and he motioned to her, just pressing her fingers slightly, to remain standing for a minute or two while the flashes from the cameras beamed towards them. They smiled and Julian waived to the fans which clamored for his attention behind the fences, set up along the red carpet. Then they moved into the reception room.

The one who greeted them was Maryka. Eva hadn’t been prepared for that, but she soon submitted to the situation, although she stiffened. Julian still held her hand in his and his grip tightened. Maryka was all smiles. She looked as if she were the matchmaker who had created this perfect and heavenly couple. She was all over them, feathering kisses over Eva, as if they had known each other from childhood. Eva wasn’t fooled though. She watched and acknowledged that the smile never reached Maryka’s eyes and that the cold calculation within the other was at a raging pace now. It was a question of saving what was there to save. If Maryka had intended to intimidate Eva, she didn’t succeed though. Just as Julian had once perceived when he first met her, she stood her ground in defiance; ready to fight for what she believed in.

‘Maryka is going to be trouble,’ Eva thought briefly. ‘Thank God that my work with Julian isn’t one that she can dominate or lay down the rules for. Once she could decide whether I should stay or leave, but that option is no longer available. Julian had neutralized her in that matter. It won’t be easy to have her around though. I wonder for how long it’ll work… I’ll not think about that now. I’ll deal with it later…’

Julian sensed her discomfort and perhaps it was his discomfort too, because with an engaging smile — all for the benefit of the photographers — he disengaged them from the overpowering presence of Maryka. He made excuses by saying that an old friend signaled to him from across the room, and they managed to leave. Eva heard behind her how Maryka turned to the waiting reporters to pour out her happiness over the new turn Julian’s life had taken and how HAPPY she was over the choice he had made…Eva shuddered within.

The rest of the afternoon was — as Julian had predicted — a rather boring affair. There were a lot of speeches, awards were handed out, photos were taken and one mingled endlessly. Julian saw to though that Eva was never left alone to be approached by any reporter. Apart from when he was on stage to make his speech and give away the price — and at that moment they were all seated — he never budged from her side. The photographers loved her though. They didn’t seem to get enough of her. Finally, it was all over and time to leave. They bid farewell, and now the smile in Maryka’s face was a bit more constrained although she maintained her cheerful countenance. They wished each other a Happy New Year. Then they let the black limousine swallow them up. Julian waved yet again to the fans. Then he ordered the opaque windows to be elevated, closing the view from outside. When they were shielded from preying eyes and the glass-pane separating the front from the back was closed too, he took her into his arms and kissed her, caressing her lips with his, long and leisurely, tracing the contours of her mouth, darting his tongue in between her teeth, teasing her, seducing her, igniting her. She yielded to him, savoring his hunger and fire and melting into his body.

He continued to kiss her in the elevator when they had reached home. He pressed her up against the wall of the cage and purred in her ear, murmuring sweet nothings in her hair. Well up on their landing he carried her to the door and stumbled inside, falling with her to the floor and rolling around with her there, laughing and kissing her. She was totally out of breath now, and she gasped for air in between his assaults. At last they sat up and looked at each other. The air vibrated between them, and they couldn’t keep from smiling and touching each other.

“I’m ravenously hungry!” she cried out. "Come on now, let us make this totally wonderful dinner and then…”

“…then I’ll have you for dessert!” he filled in and chased her into the bedroom.

They changed into jeans and T-shirts and went out into the kitchen which was a wonder of modern facilities and started to roam the refrigerator. Eva switched on the TV and let it play a traditional New Year celebration, singing and all, while they had drinks and messed up the stove, the sink and the table with their preparations and their exquisite dinner. Julian opened a bottle of the best French champagne, and when the countdown started on the TV screen, which was presently tuned into Time Square, he threw his overcoat over her shoulders and put on his old leather jacket. They went out on the terrace, and Eva was for loss of words at the panorama which unfolded around her. The skyline was ablaze with the fireworks which had already started. The whole city vibrated of sound and rejoicing and the church bells mingled into the sound palette. He turned towards her and raised his glass.

“Happy New Year!” they called out, almost in unison, and toasted each other, emptying the glasses to the bottom. Then he took hold of her and his expression became one of great emotion.

“I love you!” he whispered.

“I love you too!” she answered and she moved into his embrace, letting her lips brush over his cheek.

“I love you, I love you, I love you…”he went on as if conjuring the future, and he pressed her body into his as if he couldn’t get enough of her.

They stood like this, tightly locked into each other's arms, for an eternity in the chilly night while the sky was ablaze with lights and the streets beneath them were filling up with dancing people. Eva let the expectations of what was to come seep into her and become a reality in her mind, something to believe in at last. It was true. It wasn’t a dream. It was the truth. It wasn’t going to be easy, but she had made a decision, and now she was prepared to fulfill her destiny. 

 

 

************************************

 

_ Excerpts from Julian’s discography _ _:_

_Standing Alone_

_Slaughterhouse_

_Finding You_

_Rosary Mornings_

_Pretending To Love You_

_Love Is Bondage_

_Let It Come_

_You Have Taught Me A Lesson_

_Fire In My Heart_

_Happy You, Happy Me_

_When Will You Stop Running?_

 

**Author's Note:**

> With many thanks to Liz T for her help, support and inspiration.
> 
> DISCLAIMER:  
> Text Copyright © from 2007 and onwards by VoyaMariner AKA Thomcats. All rights reserved. Further reproduction or distribution is prohibited. 
> 
> This story is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental.


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